I’ve been a fan of Joey Ryan’s body of work for a long time. I blogged about him selling the shoulder beautifully for Austin Aries, and suffering as the Baby-Face in Peril for the bald Gymini tag team. The man is an artist.
Joey is noteworthy not only for his in-ring antics, but also for his sexy swagger. He knows how to inject an element of erotic sensuality to his every move and pose. He tells the fans that he is “bringing sleazy back” to pro wrestling as he gyrates his hairy, well-oiled body and runs his hands slowly over his masculine chest fur.
One one level, Joey’s act is comical, a mockery of the strutting male’s relentless ego and perpetual horny state. But on another level, the sexual tension that this Alpha Male projects has many fans longing to see him in the ring more often.
On the December 13th episode of TNA Impact Wrestling, Joey appeared in a commercial for “ShopTNA.com.” Wearing a Santa hat and shades, with a garland wrapped around his neck, Joey is seen slowly pouring body oil onto his hairy chest and rubbing it in with the other hand. What is this man doing? Is this scene meant to be sexy, funny, or disgusting?
In the next scene, Joey is seen riding on a rocking horse, just slowly rocking back and forth, grinding his hips with a creepy smile, stroking his chest with one hand while his other hand grips the top of the horse’s head. Not a word is spoken, but you can hear the repetitive creak of the horse (squeaking like old, worn-out bed springs) and a male voice panting and groaning passionately as the scene fades to black.
This commercial, available on YouTube, is shocking for a couple of reasons. First, it is one of the most blatant and obvious depictions of masturbation ever shown on television. The lube, the nearly naked male body, the humping and rocking motion, the sounds of passionate panting make it very clear that Joey isn’t simply a fan of rocking horses. Since when did the act of pleasuring oneself become appropriate during Prime Time?
Second, instead of a female being used to promote the product as usual, this commercial places a man (a hairy, hyper-masculine man) in the role of eye candy, using his body to entice the viewer to go check out the goods at ShopTNA.com.
Keep in mind that most viewers of pro wrestling are male, so the placement of another male as the subject of the Male Gaze in the commercial adds an undeniable homo-erotic element — even more homo-erotic than watching the same man wrestle in the same gear wearing just as much body oil.
Some male viewers may begin to squirm when confronted with the in-your-face, blatant sexuality of the rocking horse scene, even though these same men can easily explain away their love of pro wrestling as nothing more than enthusiasms for a sport – no homo.
It’s as if the advertiser is giving us a wink, as if to say: “Of course we used Joey Ryan to attract you to our website. We know for a fact you’ll be tempted to go shop on our site because we all know you find Joey Ryan to be bonerific.”
This commercial also may be mocking or mimicking the men at home who get turned on from watching wrestling.
The fact that they felt safe to air the rocking horse commercial during an episode of pro wrestling reveals that they see no problem with showing another man nearly masturbating in front of the primarily male audience, as if to say: “Hey, what’s the big deal?! We know you’re probably all doing the same thing at home anyway!”
Check out Joey posing seductively in these photos, presenting his crotch as he reclines on the ropes. If you can peel your eyes off him, check out the audience — finding a female is more difficult than winning at a Where’s Waldo game… So who, exactly, is Joey getting sleazy for when he acts naughty and flirtatious like this?
The reason Joey is an artist in the ring — the reason his persona remains popular — is because he’s a crowd pleaser. He gives the fans (the guys) at ringside what they want: hyper-masculine sex served up hot in trunks and boots, overt flirtation, and plenty of body oil to get nice and freaky and wet. We can laugh at Joey for being a ridiculous, hairy horn-dog, but I don’t see too many people laughing in the above photos. I am also willing to bet that ShopTNA.com saw a big increase in visitors (including this wrestling fan) after Joey climbed onto his rocking horse — and not all of the shoppers who were drawn by Joey’s flirtations were female.
