Rude-olph

A few days ago, I compared Santa’s original eight reindeer to pro wrestlers, but I couldn’t think of a wrestler to represent Rudolph.  Leave it to one of my sharp readers, MIKE, to offer a great suggestion:

“Clever blog entry! But what about RUDOLPH?”

“Hey! How about RICK RUDE? (RUDY/RUDOLPH…close enough!)”

“Although Rick Rude’s NOSE was pretty average, that bulging basket off his was pretty outstanding…(some would even say, IT GLOWED!)”

“Rick’s trademark round, bubblicious glutes were temptingly squeezable, edible, and…well…bed-able!”

“I loved watching him, as he’d stand over his defeated opponents and gyrate his pelvis!”

Rick, “…you’ll go down in his-to-reeeee!”

Thanks for this suggestion, Mike!  I agree that Rude would make a great Rudolph: both Rude and Rudolph were show-offs, using their most eye-catching body parts to attract attention and gain favor.

(Or at least selecting Rude gives me an excuse to get boned looking at old photos of The Ravishing One…)

To further demonstrate the many similarities between Rick Rude and Rudolph, I wrote one of those horrible song parodies based on the Rudolph lyrics:

Rick Rude the ravishing wrestler

Had a very shredded bod.

And if you ever saw him

You would even say “He’s a god!”

All of the wrestling viewers

Loved to watch him flex his arms

They always wanted Rick Rude

To punish them and do them harm.

Then one sold out Pay-per-View,

His opponent came to say:

“Rick Rude, with your abs so tight,

won’t you knock me out tonight?”

Then how the fans all loved him,

And they found him arousing.

“Rick Rude the ravishing wrestler,

You’re a Rude Awakening!”