The British Are Coming!

The weekly WWE show known as NXT (available on Hulu Plus) continues to feature incredible young talent in exciting matches.  The gear, the moves, the physiques, and the ring psychology are all spot on, I’m very impressed.

One of the New Guys who has everyone talking is Adrian Neville (formerly known as PAC) — the buff bulldog with the longer hair.  He’s known as the Man Who Gravity Forgot because of his crazy daredevil flips and dives.

On the February 7th episode of NXT, Neville joined forces with fellow muscle-Brit, Oliver Grey (formerly Joel Redman) to take on Ohno and Kruger.

NXT is holding a tournament to decide their very first Tag Team Champions, so the wrestlers certainly want to succeed and advance their careers.

As the Good Guy team, the British boys dominate early in the match.  They flex their muscles while slapping on gorgeous Armbars and Headlocks, just what we expect from White Meat Babyfaces.

Kruger and Ohno with their long, masculine beards, act overwhelmed and out-gunned and I love them for that.  They have under-estimated the Brits, as have many of the fans in the audience.

White Bread Babyfaces like Grey and Neville remain popular in England even though the personality type has largely gone out of favor in American wrestling.  For an Old School wrestling fan like myself, it’s very refreshing to see these eager, innocent, law-abiding pretty-boys coming into NXT and gaining popularity.  Hopefully this indicates a return to the handsome, incorruptible young heroes of yesterday that we grew up cheering for, rather than more of the dark, demented Anti-Heroes we’ve been seeing in recent years.

The  match is primarily intended to put newcomer Adrian Neville (and his awesome acrobatic moves) over with the fans.  Therefore, Oliver Grey must perform the role of Babyface-in-Peril to make his partner seem more Masculine and Bad-Ass, which is fine with me.  Oliver is so darn cute and youthful looking, and he cries out in agony with such convincing hopelessness — they could punish him all night long and I wouldn’t get bored!

So the creepy, bearded villains cut the ring in half and keep choking, kicking, and body-slamming young Oliver without mercy.  And let me take a moment to compliment Kassius Ohno on his ring attire — especially those skimpy, light blue trunks.  Mr Ohno, if you’re reading this Blog, please keep wearing those or similar trunks, we love your look!

Oh good — I love the Abdominal Stretch, especially when it’s applied right in front of the camera so we can count every ripple in the victim’s twisted abs.  And that cringe of agony on young Oliver’s face as the hairy beast works him over is enough to make me lose it.  Whoever is booking these matches knows exactly what to do to keep me watching NXT!

The heels change places in the ring, locking the British boy in a series of not one, not two, not three, but four — count them! — FOUR Abdominal Stretches.  It’s as if they’re competing to see who can hurt the jobber more — each man adding sadistic flourishes like the elbow to the ribs.

And Grey’s performance as the suffering stud is Oscar-worthy.  With sweat glistening all over, he cries out in agony each time the elbow presses into his flesh or his body gets twisted further.  There is so much to love about this match.

Welcome to America, pretty-boy!  This is what we Yanks do to cute little musclemen who think they’re better than us Regular Joes…

After preventing Grey from tagging in his fearsome partner, sadistic Kassius Ohno flattens the poor kid by just flopping down on him twice to crush his ribs.  This attack looks absolutely devastating and seems to knock the air out of Oliver Grey legit:

But all good things must come to an end, and Grey eventually tags in his partner who subdues the arrogant Heels and gets some rib-crushing revenge on Ohno by delivering a Corkscrew Shooting Star Press — an incredible and beautiful looking flip off the ropes:

Two of the meanest, toughest beasts in NXT are Kruger and Ohno.  For Adrian Neville to kick their asses and disable them with his deadly moves is certainly enough to make us fear and respect Neville.

Not only do the British lads win the match (and — SPOILER ALERT! — go on to win the entire tournament) but even one of the announcers is British: Lord William Regal.  It seems the Brits and their White Meat Babyface wrestlers are taking over in American pro wrestling!

Call me unpatriotic, but I am fine with the British taking over the entire federation if they continue to deliver action this classic and exciting by wrestlers this entertaining!

The British dudes hug it out to celebrate their victory in the semi-final round of the tournament: