“Rolling around in their underwear…”

Supposedly when CM Punk flew to Istanbul for a WWE show, he forgot to pack his wrestling trunks, so he wore only the little black briefs that most wrestlers in the WWE wear under their trunks. I’m not sure if it’s true that he forgot to bring trunks and couldn’t buy or borrow any, but this photo proves he was at least seen ringside (teasing the crowd) without his trunks.  He may have done something similar in Texas recently also according to rumors.

As if Punk’s usual ring gear is not skimpy and revealing enough, he has pushed the envelope even further by wearing even less than usual.  This eager-to-please attitude is yet another reason to love CM Punk, along with those incredible hip-dents plunging under the waistband of his black briefs.

Critics of pro wrestling (especially the really homophobic ones) will refer to “two men rolling around in their underwear” to make fun of the sport.  For example, you might hear some homophobic hater ask one of his friends who loves to watch wrestling: “Dude, why do you want to watch two oiled-up men rolling around together in their underwear?!?

Actually the wrestlers normally wear trunks, not underwear, and they really don’t “roll around” very much in the ring, so it’s an ignorant statement overall.  But in Istanbul, Punk simply fulfilled the haters’ definition of wrestling.

In public conversations, men will mock pro wrestling as “rolling around in underwear” to cover up the fact that they enjoy looking at nearly naked, fit, attractive men.  But if most males are repulsed by “dudes in underwear,” then what about the high ratings that pro wrestling delivers?

Pro wrestling continues to be popular in spite of (or because of) the revealing costumes and blatant exhibition of male physiques.  Based on the numbers of people tuning in to pro wrestling, buying Pay-per-Views, and viewing the many videos on YouTube, there seems to be a disconnect between the outrage that men express for having to watch “dudes in underwear” and their actions behind closed doors.  The same men who scoffed at the underwear worn by the wrestlers must be secretly very supportive of the sport based on the numbers.

Pro wrestling, like most forms of entertainment, is a pragmatic industry driven entirely by how many eyes are seeing the product.  If the fans were tuning out and ticket sales were falling, they would very quickly change the product to please the fans and boost ratings.  So you can go around complaining about men rolling around in their underwear if that makes you feel straighter, but the promoters and wrestlers themselves are well aware that you dig it (even if you can’t admit it to your self.)

They are determined to please you and entertain you by wearing exactly the costumes you love to see, even if it means you will laugh and point at them while they do it.   (So maybe CM Punk didn’t “forget” his trunks at all — maybe he felt the fans in Istanbul deserved a treat.)

And in spite of the implication that something is wrong with “rolling around in underwear“, the trunks seem to be getting skimpier and tighter every year.  For example, did you get a load of those bikini briefs Chris Dickinson was wearing in a posting from a few days ago?!

It seems as if the modern day wrestlers are playing Chicken, competing to see who can be the most daring without crossing the line into Wardrobe Malfunction territory.  So I can see why some people refer to this gear as underwear.  Also, several wrestlers have worn trunks specifically designed to resemble underwear such as Caleb Konley, Sexxxy Eddy, Eric Priest, and of course Meat from WWE fame.  Their intent is to titillate the fans, to imply inappropriate nudity, to inject sexual innuendo into the match by dressing in underclothes.

The old British wrestlers were decades ahead of their time when it came to grasping the appeal and appreciation of an eye-catching little pair of snug briefs.

If you watch old “World of Sport” matches from the 70’s and 80’s, your jaw will drop when you see some of their tiny, thin underwear.  And the British wrestlers actually do “roll around together” — at least more than their American counterparts — because the British wrestlers actually apply holds.

I just find it ironic that the primary thing people use to mock and demonize pro wrestling — the wearing of skimpy “underwear” in the ring — does not result in most wrestlers wearing long pants instead to avoid the embarassment.  On the contrary — more wrestlers seem to be scantily clad now than they were 20 years ago.

The wrestlers are not deterred one bit from wearing what they wish, no matter if everyone laughs at them and calls them gay.

It’s as if the wrestlers are saying:  We don’t care if you hate us for it — we enjoy it and we know we look great, so we would wrestle in a jock strap if the censors will allow it.

The wrestler is also giving a wink to the fans  “You can mock me if you wish, but we BOTH know you are secretly turned on by seeing me nearly naked.”

Probably the individual who laughs the loudest or acts the most disgusted by “men rolling around in their underwear” is actually the most excited by it.  Homophobia just seems to work that way — they doth protest too strongly.

Another proof of the love that fans have for skimpy trunks is the boost in popularity wrestlers experience when they finally take off their long pants.  The Miz, for example, was never considered especially noteworthy or talented in pants, but once he began showing up in some tight-ass trunks, his stock soared and soon he became both a champion and a movie star.

Eric Young is a wrestler for TNA Impact who never received much attention.  He’s got a nice body, but somehow lacked the star quality of a superstar.

Then he began stripping off his pants in the middle of the match and finishing in just a tight little USA speedo.  Now he had our attention — even the homophobic haters were talking about him.   Hey — people talk about what interests them and turns them on, so it’s no wonder Young’s popularity rose after he went pants-less.

So the next time some loud mouth says that pro wrestling is a bunch of dudes rolling around in their underwear, just say: “Good!  I love it that way — and probably so do you!” and invite him over to watch wrestling, clothing optional.  I’ll bet he shows up…