Giving Credit to the Credits

When I was a youngster, one of my first addictions was the opening credits of any pro wrestling show.

I’d be sitting around on a lazy Saturday watching Mighty Mouse or fishing or maybe an old black and white movie.  Suddenly I’d hear some jazzy music with horns, electric guitars and drums — thumping, rhythmic, pounding drums.

Then there would be bodies in motion — male bodies, proudly shirtless, attacking one another or throwing each other down.  Each little vignette lasted a few seconds, then onto the next scene of inexplicable violence, agony, and cruelty.

I was like Pavlov’s dog, but instead of drooling when I heard a bell, I’d get boned up to the opening credits for wrestling, eager for the stimulating action that was to follow.

The name of the show would then pop up, obscuring the wrestlers like a fan dancer seductively covering parts of her body.   These programs had the most exciting names like “All Star Wrestling” or “Big Time Wrestling.”   Just seeing those words was like seeing wrapped up Christmas presents waiting to be opened, a promise of treasures to be enjoyed soon.

Then they’d lower the peppy music and a male announcer’s voice would say something like: “Bringing you the hottest, most exciting wrestling action in the world.”   They always threw in terms like “hottest” or “exciting” — ohhhh talk dirty to me, I love it.  And they always made boastful, cocky claims of being the best action in world.

Meanwhile in the background, the men continued to grapple and pound and punish.  But you could never quite see it clearly enough (they would blur or color the image or bounce the videos around in little boxes) so you were left hungry for more, eager for an unobstructed view.   Oh Opening Credits, why must you toy with me?  You naughty little cock-tease…

And your curiosity was stoked as you tried to grasp the meaning behind the brief and dramatic scenes.  Why was that man on his knees in front of another man?  Did the masked men get in trouble for hitting the young guy with a chair?  Why is he bleeding?  What is he doing to the long-haired man’s arm?

During the credits, you never had the details to understand why they were acting so violent and cruel; you just saw men pummeling and pouncing on each other.  So you wanted to know the rest of the story — you wanted to witness the entire scene before and after one man scratched the other man’s eyes, or slapped him, or threw him from the ring.  This would explain the reasons behind these cruel actions.  So the opening credits whetted your appetite to see and fully understand what was happening.

Maybe you watch too much wrestling when even the opening credits get you revved up.  Actually, in those days, we didn’t get to see enough wrestling, so the credits were especially provocative and stimulating, like that first gulp of cold water after a long, hot thirst.

I don’t think anyone sits through the credits these days.  With DVRs and downloading of videos, you can just Fast Forward or click right to the action.  This is more efficient and faster than sitting around watching credits, but it also takes away some of the pleasure of anticipation — the seduction that occurred while the credits were rolling, drawing you in with all the exciting motion and colors and violence, priming your pump and getting you all worked up for the opening bout.