One Man’s Junk is Another Man’s Treasure

Over a year ago, I discussed the many pins seen in pro wrestling matches lately where the winner “hooks the leg” and forces the victim to surrender his Man Card —  his legs spread open like a two-bit hooker, his vulnerable bulge on display.  I suppose if you’re willing to lay there with your ass in the air, you deserve what you get.

I even speculated that a memo had been sent requiring pinfalls of this nature:

Memorandum

To: WWE Talent

From: Management

Date: April 1, 2012 (Reissued March 21, 2o13)

Subject: Hooking the leg

Ratings reports are now showing a decrease in market penetration.  This has been correlated to a lack of homo-erotic antics while in the ring.

Effective immediately, all winning wrestlers must spread apart the pinned man’s legs so the camera can capture images of his private parts.  This implied sexual content is expected to boost ratings.  Any wrestler failing to provide gratuitous, sustained exposure of his groinal region shall be subject to a counseling session followed by suspension.

More and more wrestling fans are learning how to create animated GIFs which show their favorite moves and holds in motion.  And from what I’ve seen, a good percentage of these images are dedicated to the sexy and bonerific wrestling pin.  I guess you guys enjoy looking at these images if you’re GIFing them — and apparently the wrestlers are well aware of the fans love for Spread-Eagles because they keep providing this gratuitous, vulgar display.  Check these out:

They say the purpose of Hooking the Leg is to keep the victim from kicking out.  I believe the true purpose of this maneuver is to display and thus to degrade the man.  If the pinfall is meant to represent the final conquering (rape) of the defenseless man, then the sexual implications are obvious, and  splitting open of legs only enhances the erotic references.

I have noticed one interesting aspect of the Bulge-Display Pinfall:  the dominant man invariably averts his eyes.  As seen in the images on this page, he may look up at the ceiling, close his eyes tightly, or gaze at the ref or out at the crowd.  So many wrestlers are so deliberate about this avoidance of crotch-watching that it can NOT be simply a coincidence.

The winning wrestler is always looking anywhere EXCEPT where the rest of the entire population is looking.  Maybe the wrestler dreads being caught with his eye on the prize, photos of him staring at the pinned man’s bulge posted all over the web and questioning the dude’s manhood.   Maybe at Wrestling School, they teach the wrestlers to look away in order to avert Gay Panic — to keep the straight audience from feeling like wrestling is becoming too gay to watch.

It’s as if the dominant, masculine wrestler is saying “Here ya go, gay guys — have fun looking at this, we know this is why you tune in.  But meanwhile I am a Real Man — I have no interest in his package deal and will simply gaze off into the distance.”

Wade Barrett and Alberto Del Rio take turns owning each other, but both are careful to avoid eye contact of any kind…