Say My Name

Many wrestling fans had questioned whether this cheesy gimmick would work:  the fussy, flamboyant dancer in sparkling gear who insists on a drawn out pronunciation of his name.

Not only has this persona proven to be very entertaining (thanks in part to that shredded physique and prominent bulge), but the fans have actually fallen in love with this character, drawling out his name in the odd manner he demands and forever dancing along to his corny music.

Speaking of his vapid, wordless Entrance Music, the song “ChaChaLaLa” is rising to the top of the music charts.  The fans are humming the tune at house shows, on buses and subways, dancing along with enthusiasm and honking their horns to the tune.  Clearly the fanbase has a boner for this arrogant Heel.  How did this flamboyant prima donna become so emulated and loved so quickly?  Let’s break down some of the reasons for the overnight success of this gimmick…

1. Believability:  For a wrestler’s gimmick to be embraced by the fans, the wrestler himself must believe in it.  If he’s playing a cocky bastard, he must feel in his bones that he’s better than everyone else and deserves special treatment.  Give credit to Mr. Curtis for pouring his heart into the role, embodying the fancy, flamboyant, somewhat feminine dancer from his slick hair right down to the cuffs of his shiny pants.  This newbie to the WWE was not given the sort of gimmick that would easily get over with the fans, but he has made some very tasty lemonade with those lemons!

2. A Big Push —  Much of any Heel’s success depends on a hot feud with a beloved Baby.  Chris Jericho has helped out greatly by entering into an ongoing war with this spectacular rookie, often taking the brunt of the abuse and “selling” the rookie’s dominance to get him over.

It’s working for me:  call me sadistic, but I would love to watch Jericho get beaten down by the cocky Dancer every week for the next year at least!

3. Good Psychology — In 2011, Jericho appeared on a dancing competition reality show.  In that arena, Jericho was the spectacular male clad in attention-grabbing clothing, charming his female partner with his dominating dance moves.  But now he is being haunted by a superior Dance Master — a stud who looks even better in sequined pants and who can flatten and destroy Jericho at will.  This makes for a compelling story.

The dancer, prancing around shaking his hips, is a mockery of Jericho in his sissified costumes.  Also Jericho is emasculated by being out-danced and out-wrestled,  suffering at the hands (or actually the legs) of the superior stud.

And Jericho has gone above and beyond the call of duty when it comes to celebrating his new Master’s mastery.  The veteran has repeatedly fallen helpless and broken at the effeminate rookie’s feet, basically acknowledging Fandango as the new Big Swinging Dick on the dance floor and in the wrestling ring.

As the prancing prima donna flexes and poses over him, dancing around like a ballerina, Jericho just lays there beaten and lets him do it.  So let me say a word of thanks to Chris “The Giving Tree” Jericho:  Way to check your ego at the door, I am really getting off on your inability to put this cocky bastard in his place.  THANKS for selling it so well!

4. Sexual Tension — Catching at least a whiff of homo-erotic attraction between two wrestlers goes a long way toward inspiring our interest in their feud.  When Fandango crouched over his victim, snatching him by the hair and ordering him to say his name (and pronounce it correctly), the Gaydar meters went on red alert.  The scene is reminiscent of one partner in a sexual tryst ordering the other to “say my name, bitch!”

The sexual tension was further ramped up by making us wait to see this stud in action.  For weeks, they teased us with glimpses of his washboard abs, or his mouthwatering oiled up physique, or that handsome face with pointy bangs hanging down provocatively over one eye.  For weeks after that, they would announce his match only to have him return to the locker room in a snit because someone had mispronounced his name.   UGHH — the sexual tension built up like water behind a dam, making us all long to see him wrestle even if just for a moment.  They had us salivating like hungry dogs in an experiment, cruelly stoking our desires week after week to ensure his first match would be met with eager anticipation.

Check out the submissive Jericho groping the superior man’s leg, as if revealing his desire and attraction to the stud who just whooped him.

Or perhaps Jericho is wishing HE were still the dominant dancer in his sequined glory, still the popular rookie that gets all the fans hot and bothered.  Maybe that grope reveals his longing for better days gone by…

5. Killer Move — Every convincing Heel needs at least one deadly attack that no man may survive.  Fandango’s finisher is a Legdrop off the top rope, slamming his long, strong dancer’s leg down across his victim’s neck like the blade of a guillotine.  The move appears even more spectacular when performed in those flashy pants he wears.

Here is an animation of this sweet move, which he delivers with the dexterity of a cat.

Some nerd loved this sexy Legdrop so much, he programmed it into a video game (which makes me wish I still played video games…)

6. Attractiveness — Many straight wrestling fans (if there is such a thing) will disagree with this, but in my book, the best Heels are sexy Heels.   Why should we limit ourselves to a diet of Baby-Face eye candy when having an exciting Heel would double our pleasure?   If we are going to sit down and watch a humiliating one-sided squash, wouldn’t it be more fun if delivered by a ripped, oiled up, swole, gorgeous, well-dressed, handsome Hottie?!?  It sure works for me (but then again, most everything that goes on in the squared circle works for me.)

But the wrestling fans who identify as hetero-sexuals will protest that they aren’t looking at the wrestlers’ bodies anyway (other than perhaps to appreciate a healthy athlete.)  They will argue that the humor of a silly, outrageous character is what inspires their interest in him. (This is why masculine sexuality is always played as a comedy — to minimize the Gay Panic felt by the breeders.)

Or they will explain that they enjoy seeing the soap opera playing out in the ring, the drama between Good and Evil, and they’re damn sure not getting a boner from it.  Oh OK — I can’t dispute their motivation to watch pro wrestling without getting inside their heads.  But I will point out that it’s sure an interesting coincidence that one of the sexiest, most attractive, most homo-erotic personalities to swagger to the ring since Rick Rude is the one who became world famous and beloved by both males and females, practically overnight.  How conveeeeenient…