The Strife of Riley, 5 of 7

We’ve seen Alex Riley suffer a series of soul-crushing losses, yet like any hopeful (and somewhat naive) Baby-Face, he keeps coming back for more.  Let’s recap:

  1. Riley ragdolled by Ohno & Graves, tag team style
  2. Riley forced to Stay Down by Corey Graves
  3. Riley out-wrestled by Cody Rhodes
  4. Riley utterly crucified by Damien Sandow

Have you had enough of Alex Riley yet?  I know I sure want to see more (my blog, my turn-ons.)   And there is no question Alex Riley wants more action, bouncing down the ring all smiles and high-fives on the June 5th episode of WWE NXT, selling his eager charm and likeability as effectively as any Baby-Face of yore.  He even finds a big fat man to hug (which leaves the other fans in the audience yearning for his embrace.)

Have you noticed the crowd goes wild whenever they see Alex Riley bust through the curtain?   Not since Tom Zenk electrified the audience has there been so much love and support for a wrestler who is most likely going to lose the match.

But suddenly the lights go out on Alex Riley and the party is decidedly over.  Ominous music plays as a huge blood-thirsty creature bathed in cold blue light enters the ring.  Wow, what a great contrast between the two entrances —  Alex is warm, accessible, handsome and friendly.  His opponent is aloof, stoic, intimidating, and dark.

Many fans were hoping tonight would be the night that Alex wins a match and begins his long journey back to dominance in the ring. But once the lights went out and this beast entered the arena, all hopes were dashed.

Clearly this is meant to be a developmental match for big Conor O’Brian, to put him over and get us to fear and hate him.  Alex understands his job tonight is to lose like a good little jobber.

At least Alex Riley is permitted to show a few hot offensive moves such as this Suicide Dive and Flying Cross-Body off the top ropes.  He is not a total jobber, unable to show any hint of masculinity and strength.  So there is still hope for his career — a possibility that, if he continues to be a submissive and easily managed Team Player (and avoids any future bickering with John Cena), he might just return to a prominent position in the company.  Please, please, WWE — don’t tease us by letting Alex Riley show his impressive potential against big Conor O’Brian, and then yank the rug out and dismiss him unexpectedly.

O’Brian applies a sexy finishing move, scissoring Riley’s neck and torso with his legs while yanking back on his other arm.  Mmmph, those big meaty hamstrings just pour on the pressure, effectively destroying and contorting the other man.  And O’Brian doesn’t just lay still — he bucks and grinds for added pain.

They’re calling Conor O’Brian’s devastating finishing hold the “Stockade” — which was a classic instrument of torture and humiliation used to punish wrong-doers. That’s the device where they bend you over and lock your neck and wrists through three little holes, so you’re immobilized and forced to stand there enduring whatever abuse, humiliation, and even sexual assaults the blood-thirsty mob felt like inflicting on you.  I sure love and appreciate when they give wrestling holds a very provocative name like “The Stockade!”

Alex Riley is forever a Team Player and willing jobber.  He lets O’Brian apply this degrading hold, tapping out obediently as the pressure bears down on his neck.  Surely he will be rewarded for faithfully putting over the other wrestlers.  Surely the disgraceful emasculation that he suffers week after week will pay off in the long run.  Surely the meek will inherit the earth one day, right?

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One Response to The Strife of Riley, 5 of 7

  1. Stay Puft says:

    Never stop with Alex Riley!