Are you SURE looks can’t kill??

Pro Wrestling Blitz held their annual “Hostile Intent” show back on Memorial Day weekend.  This Tag Team (Brian Nelson and Greg Glover) were not scheduled to wrestle, so they showed up in their bathing suits and flip flops.

They’re ready for a day at the beach and are dismayed to find out that they must wrestle after all — against two of the buffest, toughest dudes in the Blitz federation — Ashton Vuitton and Colin Cambridge!

Ding!  Ding!  The partners kick off their flip flops and the grappling ensues.  Nelson didn’t even get a chance to remove his ballcap, but that’s OK — Ashton Vuitton’s devastating Arm Drags will knock it off soon enough.

Glover and Nelson (the guys in their bathing suits) call their Tag Team: “If Looks Could Kill.”   Seeing the barefoot bathers getting tossed around by their buff opponents, it’s a damn good thing looks CAN’T kill, or I’d be lying on the floor begging them:  Please, please baby don’t hurt me no more!

The story of this match is that the more serious wrestlers, who wore proper attire to the event, will naturally dominate the careless, barefoot, unprepared beach bums.

Shades of Kevin von Erich as Greg Glover enters the ring barefoot in just his tight-ass red speedo. We sometimes refer to wrestling trunks as “speedos” because they resemble bathing suits — but this dude took it to the next level by actually wearing just a speedo.  Now we see how even very skimpy trunks do, in fact, cover up the wrestler’s ass and crotch more than your typical speedo.

I am aware from your e-mails and comments that a good number of my loyal readers are into the barefoot wrestler gimmick — it’s not really my thing, but hey, there are much stranger fetishes out there, trust me.  So here is the classic barefoot look that many of you remember fondly and have asked to see more of…

The members of “Looks” are also obviously aware that a good number of wrestling fans enjoy that barefoot look (and the speedo look for that matter.)   That’s why they showed up shoeless in their swimwear.  That’s why they concocted this storyline that they were going to go to the beach, but surprise surprise, they ended up having a match. Oh well, guess we’ll just wrestle barefoot in bathing suits…

They’re able to deliver a big serving of the sweet Eye Candy that everybody knows (but nobody admits) the fans show up to see.  Talented wrestlers always find ways to titillate, arouse, and entertain.

Pro wrestlers will often concoct situations to inject a little homo-eroticism into their matches, but they also avert Gay Panic by having some plausible reason to explain away the gay.

This stud didn’t show up barefoot in a skin-tight red speedo because he wants to arouse the onlookers with his hot body– NOOOO, that would seem too queer to the straight males in the audience.  Instead:  (a). he was intending to go to the beach but decided to stop in at the arena;  (b). he is a cocky show-off so he apparently always wears speedos at the beach;  and (c). he was notified to his surprise that he must wrestle and all he brought to wear is the red speedo.  So it all makes sense, it’s not gay after all, and hetero-sexual males can safely watch him roll around nearly naked.

I am actually late to the “If Looks Could Kill” party.  My fellow wrestling Bloggers have already featured these studs numerous times.  The Beefcakes of Wrestling Blog has presented Brian Nelson 9 times and Greg Glover 7 times.  Their increasing muscle mass is discussed in a Then & Now article.

The Ringside at Skull Island blogger has featured “If Looks Could Kill” in his articles Voltage, Red Rover, Spilt Milk, and a few other great posts.  And don’t get me started on Ashton Vuitton — everybody has been blogging about that stud forever.  I guess Ashton’s partner, Colin Cambridge, is a new find.

So the guys from “If Looks Could Kill” get to have their fun for a while, running around in their bathing suits and beating the hell out of the Face-in-Peril, Colin Cambridge.  You can tell Cambridge is really hurting when the waistband of his underwear pokes out of his disheveled trunks, but he is just too pained and exhausted to fix the situation.

But in the end, this match is about the power and awesomeness of Vuitton and Cambridge.

They gain the upper hand and beat their barefoot boy-toy into submission. I believe they are a newly formed Tag Team, so they need to establish the effectiveness of their pairing in the minds of the fans.

Ashton and Colin pose in victory and flex their six-packs for the cheering fans.  Maybe THEY should be called: “If Looks Could Kill” — hot damn!  I guess wrestlers with chiseled bodies and movie-star good looks are not exclusive to the big Federations any more– even the Indy shows are featuring some impressive physiques!  Remind me to start attending more local wrestling shows if beefcake like this is on display…