Adam Cole (currently my favorite wrestler) faced off against the great Eddie Edwards at Pro Wrestling Guerrilla’s Battle of Los Angelos 2012 event. Playing the Arrogant Bastard gimmick, Adam struts around as if he’s too good for this ring and this planet.
A fellow wrestler, Kevin Steen, is calling the action. He strikes an an aggressive tone when he says of Adam Cole: “What a cocky muthafucker!” Steen often drops “F” bombs and other colorful terms when he commentates. Steen’s praise for Eddie Edwards on the other hand borders on gay:
Steen: “What a nice guy — just a good person. And a great wrestler. Fuckin’ dreamy, that’s what HE is.”
Other announcer: “More dreamy than Adam Cole?”
Steen: “As a person, yes. Physically – No!…” Did I hear that correctly? Is big, bad Kevin Steen attracted to Adam Cole?? (Can’t say I blame him…)
Steen’s homo-erotic comments about the attractiveness of Adam Cole continue when he mentions he would definitely “feel him out“, and when his fellow commentator asks him who is better than Adam Cole…
Steen: “I don’t know, not a lot. He’s got a great man body and he’s got girl hair. He’s got it all.” As a brawny, hyper-masculine brawler, I suppose Steen can get away with these blatant sexually suggestive comments about Adam Cole without having to turn in his Man Card. I suppose everyone assumes his Man Love for Cole is a joke. But his queer commentary adds a sexual vibe to the match while also legitimizing our own feelings of attraction for Cole — because if even the heartless “Anti-Christ of Pro Wrestling” has fallen for Cole’s charms, how can we resist?
Cole, meanwhile, increases the sexual tension by yelling “Suck my dick, Eddie!” and then leading a naughty “Suck My Dick! Suck My Dick!” chant similar to when he told Roderick Strong to suck it. The fans gleefully endorse the sexual potential of the match and encourage the wrestlers to go ahead and get gayer by chanting to Eddie Edwards: “Suck His Dick! SUCK HIS DICK!” It’s definitely not your grand-daddy’s pro rasslin’ show!
After a spot of wrestling, Cole begins to dance over his fallen opponent while chanting “Suck My DICK!” and pumping his hips to emphasize each word. I created this animated GIF so you can see Cole touching himself and grinding crotch.
Cole often acts out queer scenarios like this, perhaps to frustrate and tease the fans who accuse him of being gay. Edwards, meanwhile, has seen enough of Cole’s bulging crotch dangling in his face — he reaches up to punch the other man square in the ball sack. This match is getting sexier by the minute!
Now Eddie Edwards wants to get in on the homoerotic play as well. He forces Cole down to the mat and straddles his face to pin him, his crotch positioned over Cole’s face.
He is not only pinning the other man to defeat him, he is also emasculating Adam Cole, humiliating him by teabagging him, smothering him under crotch.
When Cole kicks out, desperate to breathe (and to salvage his pride), Edwards straddles his face again, sitting down on him, pressing his taint onto Cole’s face to further degrade him. The crowd loves it, erupting in applause. Commentator Kevin Steen notes: “Oh shit, people went really crazy for that. WHOAA! A little Tea Bag going on. YAY! I love gay action.”
“Homosexual stuff in wrestling gets a better reaction than anything else. I’ve learned that and used it. I accepted it along time ago. YAY I love this match — come on guys, let’s have some fun.”
Clearly Steen and other wrestlers are well aware of the appeal of homo-erotic wrestling action. Even a majority straight audience will apparently really pop for the gay stuff and the wrestlers all know it.
You can view a video clip featuring the hottest, gayest moments of this match including Adam Cole yelling Suck My Dick! and bitch slapping Eddie (@ 4:10), grinding his junk over Edwards (@ 4:18), Edwards spewing a mouthful of beer on Cole (4:53), and the infamous Tea Bagging Spot (@6:02) on YouTube.