Match Watch: The Legend Killer

Match: Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

Federation/Event: WWE Armageddon 2003

Gimmicks: The Trunk Show, Friend Watches From Ringside, Arrogant Newcomer

Credit: Thanks to Alex for sending me the link to this match and his comments describing why he enjoyed it.  I thought I was obsessed with Randy Orton, but Alex is really head over heels (and who could blame him — just look at this young, arrogant, tan hottie!)

Gear Pat-Down:

Orton’s stretchy purple trunks creep up his crack all match long and get all bunched up around his junk.  I’m not sure whether these trunks should be described as ill-fitting, or if they actually fit perfectly.  The bright purple shade is eye-catching too — I miss his colorful gear!  And don’t you just love Orton’s black boots? He’s such a baddie.

RVD wears his trademark black full-body singlet thing.

What to Watch For:

• Talented veteran is humbled by a long, one-sided beat-down by the arrogant young Legend Killer.  Except for a few brief Hope Spots, RVD gets owned from 8:10 all the way until 16:20, a great 8 minutes of domination by Randy.

• Randy rolling around in his bulging purple speedo.  There are like 20 great bulge views and maybe 50 ass crack images.  Randy, if you still have those trunks, please please start wearing them again.  Or sell them to me cheap.

• Orton’s confidence, arrogance, and dominance has always been a turn-on, but especially when he was young.

Hottest Holds:

• A slow Drag-Up by the Hair (with Face-to-Crotch) @ 11:26
• Randy applies a long-held Headlock @ 12:02
• A very sexy Headlock down on the mat with Orton draping one leg over the other man’s hip @ 14:43.  My reader, Alex, described it as:

“Randy has RVD down on the floor, his hot legs wrapped round him (who wouldn’t love to be in that position?)… Orton realizes that RVD is still weak and Orton is still in control, as RVD starts slipping back down again. And Orton smiles that sexy, arrogant smile of his as he looks round at the audience, then the ref, laughing at the fact that RVD was almost getting out of the hold, and now he’s stuck in it again.”

Quote Porn: Most of the verbal fluffing by the commentators focuses on the sex appeal of the impressive rookie:

“This is gonna be good.  I can tell right now — these two young STUDS — this is gonna be GREAT!”

(Randy strikes a victory pose)   “Yeah! You are lookin good. As Flair would say: stylin’, profilin’, and winning!”

“It not only gives him a chance, basically, to catch a breather, it wears Rob Van Dam down, and it also gives Randy Orton a chance pretty much to just look good.”

Psychology 101: In his rookie days, Randy was named the “Legend Killer” and was fed a series of old Has-Beens to destroy and dominate.  These matches told the story of Randy’s superiority, and also played off every old guy’s fear of being put out to pasture by the younger, faster, hotter, more skilled Young Studs clawing their way up the ladder.   At the time of this match, Van Dam was 32 and he took quite a beating from 23-year-old Randy — and surrendered his belt to the cocky young Hot Shot.