Oral Fixation

Joey Ryan has the sleazy, over-sexed pervert gimmick down to a science.  We’ve seen him perform raunchy antics such as offering Mustache Rides to people in the audience, squirting oil down his pants, and rubbing his chest while rocking on his horse.  He is clearly aware that “homosexual stuff in wrestling gets a bigger reaction than anything else.”

For this recent match at Combat Zone Wrestling’s 15th Anniversary Show, Ryan took the sexuality up a notch by sucking on a lollipop before the match.  Does he love the taste of this candy so much that he needs to be licking on that thing before he wrestles, or is he trying to excite the audience by sucking that lolly, causing the viewers to think about what else Ryan might do with that talented tongue?

Greg Excellent also frequently works the sleazy comedy gimmick.  We saw him get naughty with Adam Cole, pinching the young man’s nipples before stripping down to Capt. America briefs.  So this match promises to be chock full of sleaze!

On the surface, Ryan’s antics are meant to be comical — to lampoon the douchey sort of male who believes all the ladies want him, often just before he falls on his face and makes an ass of himself.  As usual, male sexuality is dealt with and avoided using humor.

Clearly Joey Ryan’s character is meant to be a sleazy, flirtatious horn-dog, but are his actions homo-erotic?   Is he perhaps trying to appeal to the ladies, to use his animal magnetism to attract female sexual encounters?  Or is he acting sexy purely as eye-candy for men to enjoy?  Given that a typical pro wrestling audience consists of far more males than females, I think Ryan knows exactly who he is posing for…

After applying a Headlock of his own, Excellent pulls the lollipop out of Ryan’s mouth.  To the utter shock of the audience, he then inserts it into his own mouth!  Damn — he has just willingly swapped spit with another man, which some may feel is a little gay.

This spot works on several levels.  The basic story in the ring is that Excellent is a fat kid who can’t resist candy.  There is also a comic element to the scene — the fans laughing at how ridiculous and stupid it seems for grown men to fight over candy.  But as usual in pro wrestling, there is also an underpinning of homo-eroticism;  he did, after all, put Joey’s wet sucker on his own tongue.

Not wanting to be out-done (or out-gayed), Joey takes that sloppy sucker and sticks it back in his own mouth.  This prompts the crowd to chant: “You sick FUCK!  You sick FUCK!”   Why is that so sick??  It is just a piece of candy, right?   Maybe the fans now realize that the lolly has become a phallic symbol, and the spit swapping is about more than just two guys with a sweet tooth.

To end the sucker cravings, Joey rubs it around on his body and even sticks it down his trunks.  Speaking of a phallic symbol, how obvious can you get??

And after rubbing that sticky candy all over his hairy, oily body, and after soaking it with the scent and flavor of his swampy crotch, Ryan jams the lollipop into the open mouth of his opponent.  AND EXCELLENT LOVES THE TASTE!

Even Joey Ryan, the king of sleaze, is creeped out when he sees Excellent savoring the nutsack flavored candy, rubbing it all over his lips and tongue like he has never tasted anything so sweet.

You can find more images of this match on the Getlost Photography site.  Greg Excellent’s web page has photos of the match as well as a three-minute video of the Great Lollipop Battle.

The wrestling finally gets underway again and we see Excellent taking a submissive role, on his knees or flat on his back as Ryan beats him down.  His willingness to put Joey’s sucker in his mouth has marked him as Not Masculine — which, in the world of pro wrestling, is the worst thing you can become. Anything non-Male must be punished and subdued.

The moral of this story is that Excellent must suffer for his lack of machismo — for his willingness to be the one accepting the lollipop in his mouth rather than jamming his lollipop in some other candy-sucker’s mouth.  Later Joey gets punished too for having taken back his lollipop and returning it to his own mouth.

Once again, we see Excellent strip out of his singlet to finish the match in skimpy little briefs.  Once again, this strip tease by the big guy can be interpreted on several levels.  It is comedic to see such a big, hairy dude on naked display, especially when he is wearing such minimal gear.  But it also can be seen as sexual, both men shirtless with the bigger, fatter man utterly dominating and crushing.

Ryan fails to knock down the big man using the Sunset Flip and Excellent sits on his face.  Joey now has that fat bastard’s cock and balls resting on his chin.  Rather than sweet candy in his mouth, he is tea-bagged instead.