The “I Own You Now” Grab

The Heel in pro wrestling assumes the right to touch his victim where ever he wishes.  Going about his job of weakening his opponent, he may snatch a handful of hair, or yank a waistband, or grab hold of the neck.  Placing his hands all over the other man sends the message that he “owns” his helpless victim — he has taken possession of the other man’s body.

And the more private and forbidden the body part he puts his hands on, the more he asserts a sexual dominance.  Touching another man’s hair or face for example is considered taboo because those are intimate personal spaces, but the Heel will cross that boundary to convey that sense of ownership.  A really dirty Heel will reach between the other man’s legs and grab his ass, or insert a finger into his mouth or down his trunks.

This license to grope lets his victim know — and lets the entire audience know — that no body part is off limits to him.  The victim’s body has become a toy for him to play with.

One of the first rules we were taught was to keep our hands off anything that does not belong to us.  So by groping his opponent wherever he wishes, the dominant wrestler asserts ownership, the sense of possession that comes from touch.  The victim apparently can do nothing to stop these unwanted advances.

So a well-trained Heel will grab all over his opponent’s body, snatching him by the hair, resting a hand on his thigh, cradling his crotch.  His offense doesn’t need to be especially devastating to convey his dominance as long as we see his hands all over the other man’s body.  This power imbalance is what gives wrestling its sex appeal — a depiction of rape symbolized by these violations of personal space.

Cesaro’s crotch cradle always seems a bit intrusive, wouldn’t you say?

Another one of our earliest lessons is that nobody has the right to touch us in any place our bathing suit covers without our permission.  And nobody should be removing our clothing!

So the ultimate violation by a sadistic Heel is to grip or strip his opponent, messing around in the Danger Zone between his belt-line and thighs.

The victim of the “I Own You Now” grab willingly accepts the dominant man’s touches, no matter how intimate, without slapping his hand away.  In the context of the sport, we assume he is too tired and physically over-whelmed to resist, but the image of helplessness also can convey a willing submission.

A wrestling jobber can take on the appearance of a sex slave, dominated psychologically as well as physically and uninterested in fighting back.  He lies perfectly still, as passive as a well trained animal, allowing the Master’s hands to rub and caress all over his body with no thought of resisting.  THIS context is what makes pro wrestling seem kinky and erotic.