Patron Saint

The tremendously talented (and somewhat twisted) graphic artist known as “Wrock” took me up on my suggestion yesterday that Saint Sebastian would make a great jobber — all he needed was some knee pads and tall boots.

Using some image editing software, Wrock dressed the young martyr in powder blue gear, one of the trademark colors for innocent, non-threatening, vulnerable, somewhat effeminate, hairless tan Baby-Face jobbers.  What do you think — would you tune in if you heard our coy, hapless, listless Sebastian here would be getting in the ring with anybody from pro wrestling history named “Bruiser”. “Maniac”, or “Mad Dog”?

In his e-mail to me, Wrock suggested that we should designate St. Sebastian as the Patron Saint of jobbers.  I love that idea — jobbers should have their own saint to pray to when they’re getting beaten half to death in the ring.  The only problem is that Sebastian is very popular and is already Patron Saint of archers, armorers, athletes, fletchers, masons, police, soldiers, and a bunch of cities to name a few.

So can we justify adding “jobbers” to this already long list of Sebastian’s patrons? And to whom do I write to in order to request designation of an official Patron Saint?  Maybe the Pope?  Hopefully he is already a reader of this blog and will just do it.  Hey, if you’re reading this right now, Francis, please take care of this request and name Sebastian as Patron Saint of jobbers.