Flower Power

When I first saw this match on the July 3rd episode of WWE NXT (available on WWE Network and Hulu Plus), I thought it was a reasonably exciting example of a quick  Jobber Squash, with smiling Steve Cutler taking a beating from Eco-Warrior, CJ Parker.  Nothing to really gush about.

It was only after I discussed the match with one of my pro wrestling chat buddies, and he pointed out the aspects of the fight that excited him, that I caught on to the hot dynamics and decided to Blog about it here.  For some reason, after I hear another guy explain what got him off about a wrestling match, it then seems much more exciting in my eyes.  We need a name for that phenomenon — maybe the “Explanation Effect.”

Steve Cutler is the smiling, buff stud in blue trunks, the generic Muscle Jobber with the moppy hair who was “already in the ring” when his opponent was announced.  He looks a little like a Von Erich in the face.  One  recap of this match I read online referred to Cutler with the degrading nickname of: “Generic Jobber #1”.  His opponent with the long dreadlocks and peace-sign on the seat of his trunks is the “Moonchild” CJ Parker, a talented Up-and-Comer in the WWE ranks.

My wrestling chat buddy pointed out the contrast in the two wrestlers’ politics and lifestyles to explain why he found the fight especially arousing.  CJ Parker is portrayed as a tree-hugging, environmentally conscious Hippie.  After audiences failed to pop for Parker’s green granola gimmick, they re-packaged him as a healthier-than-thou dickhead Heel.  Now he is like that jobless slacker who gets your little sister stoned and then lectures your dad on how he should eat more grains and re-use the paper plates to save Mother Earth.

His (jobber) opponent is handsome, athletic stud-next-door Steve Cutler.  The announcers casually mention that Cutler is a former Marine and a very handsome lad.  He represents the traditional, Conservative, hetero-normative, all-American ideal Male Hero. He is DOOMED!

Sure enough, Steve Cutler (what a fuckin’ jobbery NAME!) is soon over-powered by the long-haired, hyper-sensitive modern male represented by CJ Parker.

The Marine is a warrior, the image of American strength and manhood — trained to fight with his fully-loaded guns and his abs of steel.  So his punishment — his loss of power and control — is that much more degrading when delivered by a Hippie with a peace sign stitched on the ass of his trunks.

Parker mounts the Marine and grabs the side of his head like a rapist, screaming in his face that he is ruining our planet.

This short match was definitely intended to showcase the power and effectiveness of CJ Parker.  He easily knocks Cutler’s dick in the proverbial dirt, just stomping the sissified muscle-man into helpless pudding. Parker’s white boots are spectacular as he unleashes them like Eco-Weapons of Mass Destruction.

The camera of course spends much more time focused on CJ Parker’s face and body, even though Cutler is quite gorgeous to behold as well.  The intent is to encourage us to get into (or get off on) CJ Parker as a legitimate, believable, ass-kicking Alpha Male to be taken seriously when he strips off his little leather vest to fight.

Steve Cutler soon proves to be no match for the environmentalist, his traditional version of square-jawed masculine power and privilege revealed to be nothing more than a sham.

Parker easily drags his compliant pretty-boy around by the hair, then utterly fucks his face up with a gorgeous Leg Clothesline maneuver to finish him off.

Check out that cocky pin — Parker not even bothering to hook Cutler’s leg, emphasizing the fact that the Marine has been totally dominated.  It is a new world order for American men — no longer are the hyper-masculine soldiers at the top of the food chain. Now the soybean eating hippies who drive tiny fuel-efficient cars and wash their hair only during certain months are seizing control and showing the rest of us Who is Boss.

Parker even places his dirty roach-rolling hand over Cutler’s mouth while pinning him, effectively telling the Marine to shut the fuck up and learn his place.  After the bell, Parker kicks the spent soldier out of the ring to the floor, showing total disrespect for a man who has fought for his country.  This is like a draft dodger spitting on a war hero!

To frustrate and titillate the crowd, to foster our hatred of this smug bastard, he is shown acting disrespectful to a Vet. Everybody wants to hurt him or to see him being hurt, yet he emerges from this one-sided fight looking buffer and sexier than ever. THIS is what my wrestling chat-buddy enjoyed about the match — the seizure of power by the apparently weaker but far cockier Hippie.

Parker then grabs the microphone and spews some double-entendres — telling his sworn enemy Xavier Woods that Woods “has what I need” and he is now “coming” for Woods.  Mmmph!