Baby Blue

The Ascension, the big men in matching black tights, continued their dominance on last week’s episode of WWE NXT (Episode #233).  Once again, they were provided with two relatively unknown but good looking pretty-boys to rough up.

Steve Cutler (AKA Tommy Maclin) in the shiny navy-blue trunks was discussed recently on this blog when he was beaten by CJ Parker.  He and his partner, Mac Miles in the baby blue trunks, will have their work cut out for them against the NXT Tag Team Champions.

Usually these days, we see a dominant wrestler or Tag Team easily squash some jobbers for just a few matches, then they move on to more even competition.

The strange thing about The Ascension is that they keep beating up “enhancement talent” week after week, month after month.  I wrote about them destroying the jobber pairings of Tyler & Bishop on March 21, and Hurley & Vandal on April 7.

I even apologized in the April 7 article for my role in causing the relentless weekly abuse being inflicted by The Ascension.  I felt that, if I didn’t enjoy seeing it so much, and if I didn’t write about it so often, maybe the promoters would stop the carnage and find more suitable opponents for the big guys.  But the one-sided squashing continues, and I continue to eat it up.

Like any clueless, hapless Baby-Face, Cutler is isolated in the Heel’s corner where Konnor and Viktor stomp him into submission and practically rape him. I can’t really mention any wrestling holds used by Ascension — mostly they just throw their victims around and clobber them with fists and boots.  They just beat him like a drum — a drum you can kick and punch a lot.  There isn’t much wrestling in their wrestling, but I still enjoy watching it unfold if their victims are gorgeous enough and sell the pain well.

Suddenly, the two brutes just pause over their beaten victim for a moment — looking down at him as he squirms at their feet.  It is an interesting scene as they just stand there drinking in his suffering for a few breaths, poor Cutler on his back, sprawled out and barely moving like he was just hit by a bus.  The commentators point out that they’re so dominant, they can just hold a team meeting right in the middle of the match.

As the jobbers struggle to reach the tag, I swear I heard the audience begin to chant “Baby BLUE!  Baby BLUE!”  — that’s what it sounded like to me.  It sounded as if the crowd was done watching Cutler’s pathetic suffering and were eager to now see cute Mac Miles take a beating.  But instead of allowing Miles to tag in, Viktor knocked his ass off the ring apron down to the floor.

In fact, Mac Miles never does get to participate in the match at all.  Ascension are having so much fun torturing buff Steve Cutler, they just continue working him over, even double-teaming him when they couldn’t agree on whose turn it was to hurt him next.

I always feel a little bad for a jobber who is never allowed to join in a Tag Team match.  I mean, he traveled to the arena, stripped down to his trunks, and yet never once got to show off his talents in the ring (after all, even suffering is a talent.)

It is tradition for the Heel Team to allow their opponents to tag at least once, even if they have to drag their victim over by the arm to force the tag.  So for Miles to be left out completely is like saying he isn’t worthy of their attention — they don’t even want to bother beating him up (because his partner is hotter perhaps?!)

As usual, we are treated to the devastating two-on-one finishing move by The Ascension, the utter helplessness of the knocked-out jobber, and the sexually suggestive prolonged pin cover as Viktor just lays on his fresh meat for several minutes.

They added some verbal intimidation after this match to see if these two are ready to move on to bigger and better things, or if they will need to continue dominating the “enhancement talent” for a few more months.  I vote we should keep Ascension right where they are as NXT Champs, doing exactly what they did in this match.