Road Rage

I recently stumbled upon this fun Tag Team Squash match from a South African wrestling promotion. The dominant team — Rage and Fury — are a pair of big bald studs in matching yellow trunks known as “Road Rage.”  Man, I love when a Heel Team looks like that — both dudes jacked and huge with their heads shaved so they look even more intimidating.  Mmph!

One of their opponents is “Gatekeeper” — a Scottish dude wearing blue-&-white facepaint to resemble “Braveheart” from the famous movie. Damn, this guy is also jacked — and when he peels that kilt off, you will soon discover that they barely wear anything underneath those kilts!

I believe Gatekeeper is the South African wrestler formerly known as “Jason Steele.”  You can see more of him in the Beefcakes of Wrestling blog article titled “Solid Steele.”

The match begins with the usual foreplay, the opponents “feeling each other out” as they say.  We get some breathtaking views of their buff physiques and Gatekeeper’s abbreviated trunks as they trade holds and “jockey for position.”

As you might expect (given that smoking body on the Gatekeeper), the Heels soon isolate him in the ring and work over his exposed body.  They mostly focus on torturing his arm, “trying to disjoint that elbow” as the silver-tongued commentator describes it.  And our poor Braveheart — I mean Gatekeeper — suffers nicely.  AHH,  MY ARM!!

One of the most impressive exchanges occurs at about 5:45 into the video.  Big Fury (or is it actually Rage?) steps over his opponent’s arm and flips him down to the mat to slap on an Armbar.  That is a rare show of agility by such a Beast!  Then Gatekeeper shows us his own Beast qualities, hoisting his attacker up with one arm like the Scottish version of the Incredible Hulk!  Nice!

Oh I almost forgot to mention, Gatekeeper does have a Tag Team partner, a cute flat-top jock named Xterminator who gets pummeled starting at 9:10 into the video.  But by 12:44, the Heels grow bored of torturing the submissive ragdoll and toss him to his corner to tag in Gatekeeper — the lean hunk of meat they really want to maul on.

Normally, a wrestler with paint on his face doesn’t work for me — I never got into Sting or Ultimate Warrior much despite their buff bodies.  Their face-paint just seemed douchey.

But something about this blue paint on the Gatekeeper, the color matching his trunks and elbow pads, really revs my engines.

The members of Road Rage begin working together — combining their power to utterly crush poor Gatekeeper.  He is soon seen broken at their feet, just like William Wallace of Scotland after he was hanged, drawn, and quartered back in the year 1305.

I may have spent so much time discussing the Gatekeeper and his snug little trunks that I forgot to gush sufficiently over the true Alpha Males in this fight — Rage and Fury.  I do enjoy seeing a Big, Bald, Unbeatable pair of Brutes like team Road Rage just steamrolling their competition!

So even though the video quality of this YouTube match wasn’t up to my usual minimum standard, it was the matching power of these two brutes and the Two-on-One whipping they unleashed on their hapless opponents that really made me want to write up this match.