Skin to Win

Probably my favorite Luchador of all time was Hector Garza (may he rest in peace.)  One of my loyal readers recently told me about this entertaining match available on YouTube between Garza and Ultimo Guerrero (“ultimate warrior“).

My reader told me that he shares my attraction to Hector Garza — here is how he so eloquently described why he enjoys watching this Latin Heart-throb in action:

“Hector Garza always made me rock hard with his combination of dark Mexican skin, very handsome face, bright trunks that were too small for his juicy ass, and his overall tough guy demeanor and Latino bravado.”

For some reason, Garza (who is known for wearing the tightest, skimpiest wrestling trunks ever sewn) decided to wrestle in a full body-suit in this match — a bright yellow costume that makes him look like a banana in pajamas.  Why the hell would he do that to us?  Why would he drape cloth over that spectacular body and deny our eyes from feasting on that spectacular masculinity that is Hector Garza??   Maybe he has a skin rash or something.  Or maybe he is tired of serving as a piece of meat for us to gawk at and he wants to be respected for his grappling skills.  The mustard yellow was an odd color choice however, especially with those flamboyant red boots he is wearing.

Poor Garza does not fare too well early in this match.  He is out-wrestled by the masked man and made to suffer in several Leglocks with his face pressed into the mat like he’s biting a pillow.  Later his opponent presses him up by the spine in this very unusual Backbreaker that looks like a scene from a  Cirque du Soleil show — you’ve got to love Lucha Libre and the creative, kinky moves they come up with!

The implication behind Garza’s lack of success is that he is weakened by his wearing of clothing.  Normally, when he wrestles in mere trunks like a savage, he dominates his opponents, but now he is failing because he is not naked enough.  His clothing is constraining him and robbing him of his potency.

Finally, at 12 minutes into the video, Garza decides to stop the match and undress.  Of course the audience starts hissing and howling like cats in heat.

Here is how my loyal reader described the disrobing:  “After fighting half the match in a long shirt and tights, he decides that the match can only be won in his trusty and sweaty red trunks and takes a pause to strip his pants off.

Yet his opponent is having none of it and takes this chance to attack him!”

Of course most wrestlers remove their clothing before a match or just enter the ring already shirtless and it is no big deal.  The fact that Hector is stripping in the middle of the match somehow adds an element of naughtiness and eroticism.

Now that he’s removed that yellow rainsuit to allow his massive muscles to breathe, Garza is a fucking beast in his little red speedo.  He is like Tarzan unleashed in the jungle after being forced to wear a suit and tie and work behind a desk for an entire week.

The battle rages on with both men taking turns in the dominant role. Hector, of course, looks spectacular in his little red trunks as he finds ways to provide wide-open views of his bulge and his buff physique, now proudly on display.

In the end, the great Garza mounts his beefy opponent, ties up their legs in a big knot, and pins him to secure the victory.  The message that we take away is that, if a man wants to get serious — if he really wants to own and dominate — then he’s got to get naked too.  Clothing serves to civilize and socialize us, and ripping it off puts us in touch with our powerful inner savage.