Double, Double, Toil and Trouble

The latest release from Rock Hard Wrestling — called “Double Trouble” – starts off as a typical one-sided Jobber Squash.  The rookie in red trunks is Gage Carmona — eager but out-matched, youthful but inexperienced.

His opponent, cool and confident Alex Waters, simply dominates Gage.  Big handsome Alex body-slams the rookie at will, tortures him in a Scissor, and cracks him Over-the-Knee,while talking trash the entire time.  (Quote: “This ring isn’t for little cry-babies.”)

Gage Carmona may be new to the wrestling scene, but he is a natural at authentic suffering (or else Alex was actually hurting him.)   You should hear the gasps, squeaks, coughs, and little whimpers that Gage emits each time he is slammed onto his back (twisting his body invitingly), walked upon, or bent in the wrong direction by Alex.

At one point, Gage suffers a stiff Body-Slam and groans: “Ohhh, my shoulder.”  Another time he proclaims “You slapped me!” and later: “I need my leg!” The cutest moment was when he asked the sadistic bully:  “Have you no honor?!”

In a sarcastic show of compassion, Alex offers Gage an escape:  “Get your ass out of my ring!” he orders the suffering young opponent.  “You’re free to go, you have three seconds.”   But just like any other pro wrestling jobber, Gage foolishly, bravely remains in the ring — only to suffer a stunning kick to the solar plexus, a face slap, a knee to the ribs, and then three hamstring kicks in a row.

So where does the match go from here?  Alex has clearly established his dominance over Gage — out-wrestling, out-muscling, and out-smarting him at every turn.  Alex may be running out of ideas for how else to harm his victim…

And this is where the tide turns and, for me, gets very fun.  Enter Ethan, leaning over the ropes to coach and encourage his young student, Gage.

Soon Ethan can’t resist getting involved himself, pinning back Alex’s arms from outside the ropes so his pal Gage can fly across the ring and drop-kick the stud’s six-pack abs.  My heart does a little flutter when Ethan then ducks between the ropes to officially join the battle, and the Double-Team punishment begins.  I am such a ridiculously easy mark for two-against-one wrasslin’ — and the dudes at Rock Hard Wrestling do it just right!

Now who has no honor, huh Gage?!  NOW who has no honor!?

I want to say a word about Ethan’s long red dick tights.  He’s worn them before in an earlier match against Alex, and while beating up Matt Engel and there is sure something hot about his look.

I normally prefer short speedo trunks over long tights, but I often make an exception for wrestlers who wear especially provocative or flamboyant tights.  I say this so frequently, I wonder if I DO actually have a fetish for tights.  Anyway, these shiny dick tights on Ethan really work for him, making him seem more bad-ass and dominant.  They’re cut just right to emphasize his bulge, and the black stripe down the leg offers a modern spin on classic pro wrasslin’ tights.

And when I saw Ethan wrap those long dick tights around Alex’s throat and lock his black booties together (see Headscissor image below), let’s just say “Rock Hard” is not just the name of the company that produced the video.

If Rock Hard Wrestling wants all the money in my bank account, they need only to keep producing videos that involve scenes like this — I may even cash in my 401-K so I can see more two-on-one action.

The Red Team — Gage and Ethan — are relentless in their glorious cheating.  They each take turns as the “Holding Partner” — restraining Alex’s arms so the “Attacking Partner” can kick, slug, or drive shoulders into his mid-section.  They then humiliate the would-be bully by mussing up his hair.  I love when the Attacking Partner grabs a fistful of Alex’s mane and leans in real close to ask if he’s had enough yet.

My fellow blogger Joe from the Ringside at Skull Island website recently reviewed this video and did not fully appreciate the humbling of Alex Waters.  Joe believes that Alex is so brilliant at domination that he should not be forced to turn in his Alpha Male card and play the jobber.  “Alex is at his LEAST convincing as a victim” quips Joe.

It is true that Alex seems more comfortable and natural when kicking ass, but the turn-on for me is (always) that role reversal, the shift of power and control from the Stud to the Nerds.

Damn, just look at the cocky Red Team planting their boots on poor Alex’s back as they flex their muscles and show off their bulges.  Ethan has taught young Gage how to strut his stuff, oozing with confidence and self-assured poise.

I happened to notice on the Catalog #20 page of the Rockhard Wrestling website the below image of Ethan and Gage in matching green dick tights, apparently wrestling in some future video as ballsy Tag Team partners.  Oh damn, I can not WAIT to see that…  how much is left in my 401-K again??