Today’s Match Mashup is a video edit of a classic Jobber vs. Jobber competition. Beefy, barrel-chested Barry Horowitz punishes the lean, lithe, limber Lanny Poffo. Their contrasting styles — brawling bull vs graceful gazelle — is one of several enjoyable aspects of this match.
Poffo controls Horowitz with a series of grinding Baby-Face Arm Bars early in the match, but at 2:30 into the video, Horowitz offers the old Trust-Me handshake which Poffo (the gullible and friendly choir-boy) foolishly accepts only to be socked in the noggin. You would think having grown up with Randy “the Macho Man” Savage would’ve made Poffo a bit more ring-savvy!
Once he finds himself in the drivers seat, Horowitz always delivers fantastic Heel heat. He unleashes all the Dickhead moves in the book: scratching his nails down Poffo’s back; gripping his hair and elbow smashing his skull; Atomic Dropping his fucking balls down across a bent knee; yanking on the waistband of his trunks; dragging his eyes across the top rope to blind him; standing on his throat; violently yanking him by the hair for some more molestation. The brutality is intoxicating. About mid-way through the video, I created a montage of the stiffest, cruelest, dickiest moves that Horowitz unleashed.
Another aspect of this match I found interesting is the slow, gentle pace and the utter compliance of Lanny Poffo, calmly accepting his Beat-Down — what a wonderfully sissified jobber bitch! One of the announcers even comments on Poffo’s submissiveness at 5:12:
“Poffo is just sort of letting — well, I don’t want to say ‘letting’ — but he seems to be at the beck and call of Barry Horowitz.”
I won’t spoil the ending by telling you who wins. After all, the beauty of a Jobber vs. Jobber match is that, for once, you can’t predict the outcome. Let’s just say the commentator exclaims that this was a huge upset, but I didn’t think it was such an upset at all. Just look at these two men…