Battered

The YouTube channel Matto11011 continues to assemble the most impressive collection of masked pro wrestling matches ever created.  Being a fan of the Batten Twins (or rather, a fan of the Batten Twins being battered), I was excited to view this recent upload to the channel:  the Battens eating some punishment dished out by the masked Grapplers — the ultimate Heels in their long black tights and matching silver facemasks.

To ensure we are aware of their Baby-Face status, the Batten boys wore silky (and revealing) white trunks for this match, their VPL on proud display.  That flimsy spandex fabric just doesn’t have a chance against their husky physiques, constantly riding up and gathering here and there, with the Battens too busy defending themselves to bother re-adjusting their wayward trunks.  And the camera doesn’t shy away from exploring every nook and cranny.

The match opens with the spectacular Battens using tricky moves to dominate their big clumsy opponents.  They fool one Grappler into hurting the other, Irish Whip them into each other, then dropkick them right out of the ring (in perfect synchronicity).  You get the idea: the Baby-Faces performing like a well-oiled machine; the Heels looking like stupid chumps.

The Baby-Face Shine actually lasted a bit too long for my tastes — halfway into this 12 minute match.  I prefer more like 80% suffering to only 20% shine (or maybe even 90% to 10%).

Finally at 6:00 into the video, the Grapplers have a little consultation outside the ring, whispering their sadistic plans to one another.  I think to myself, Oh good — this mean it’s now time at last for the Battens to pay for their early cockiness. (I am so damn heartless.)

Sure enough, the masked men isolate one of the Battens and proceed to fuck him up, my favorite sort of Tag Team match.

Despite their masks, the commentator can identify each Grappler, consistently referring to them as “Number One” and “Number Two.”  However, he is (ironically) totally confused about which Batten is Brad and which is Bart.  He identifies the man in the ring as “The Batten Twin” and the partner outside the ring as “The Other Batten.”

The referee on the other hand can NOT tell one Grappler from the other.  They pull the classic Heel bullshit of switching places in the ring without tagging (even though they could’ve slapped hands easily enough.)   It’s a nice little mindfuck for the viewing audience, the cheaters blatantly switching places with impunity behind Johnny Law’s back while the Battens are forced to obey every rule. Everyone in the entire world except the ref is aware of this rule-breaking.

Before I forget to mention it, I’m a big fan of the Grapplers’ masks, the shiny fabric, the kinky leather face, the bat-like eyes.  Wearing identical masks adds that sexy “Double” psychology to the match.

When Grappler Number Two sinks in a punishing Headlock on The Batten, we get to savor some gorgeous close-ups of his sexy hood and big flexing biceps.

The appeal of the Battens lies in their hapless vulnerability — the ease at which other men subdue and dominate them.  Batten has zero defense against the Grapplers’ double-team moves, ballbusting Atomic Drop, and repeated elbows and knees.  You can see other images of their Face-in-Peril work in my original Wrestling Arsenal galleries, wearing yellow trunks and sexy zebra stripes.

In the closing moments, the Battens regain control like Popeye after a big can of spinach and manage to pin a Grappler to win the bout.  Whatever — I didn’t bother capturing any images of that because it’s not really my thing, but feel free to watch the Good Guys triumph in the video if you’re into that sort of thing.  I prefer to close this gallery with a striking pose that was repeated several times in the video:  a Grappler hooking a leg to try to cover The Batten: