Whenever I sign in to my YouTube account, I am taken to a page called “What to Watch” with recommended videos that somebody (or some computer app) thinks I will enjoy. One recommendation I received today was a video called: “NWA On Fire Ep #5 – 10_split1.avi.” This was not a very promising filename, but what the hell, I decided to check it out and see if I could figure out why this particular video was recommended for me specifically.
Soon after the video began — after the jazzy opening credits with video clips of wrestlers hurting other wrestlers — we see this display of suffering by a muscle jobber in fire-engine red bikini and tall black boots. The voice of an announcer then promises me: “You are gonna see Bazooka Joe taking on Big Bad John.” YES! Of course I will NOT be touching that dial (or mouse.)
Big Bad John is a classic Monster Heel — huge, bearded, fully clothed, and mean looking. Bazooka Joe with his muscular build and red trunks with matching knee-pads is the picture of the ideal muscular Baby-Face. Try to guess which of these guys is going to roll around on the mat and suffer for most of the match…
Judging from what we’ve seen so far, we can already understand why the magic computer app recommended this video for me. One look at my prior YouTube History page would reveal many videos I’ve viewed featuring muscular pretty-boys just like Bazooka Joe getting whooped by big, brutal Ugs just like Big Bad John. This fits my past tastes and interests so closely, I would be more surprised if YouTube had NOT recommended this one for me.
Unfff. The big man applies a crushing Bearhug, picking poor little Joe up in his arms like a squeeze toy, and it becomes even more clear why this video landed in my “Recommended” section. It checks off so many of the boxes I look for in a pro wrestling match, as discussed many times on this blog:
- Fat > Muscle (check!)
- Power Struggle (check!)
- Vulnerable Superman (check!)
- Classic Bearhug (check!)
- Red Trunks (check!)
The ref repeatedly raises Joe’s floppy arm to demonstrate that his strength has been fully milked out of him. This performance emphasizes the power shift — the transfer of authority — from the spectacular Alpha Male (now helpless) to the big dominant goon. The app that recommended this video to me must have known I get off on that stuff.
In the end, Bazooka Joe regains his masculine power and wrests control from Big Bad John. Joe demonstrated his super-human strength by hoisting the monster across his broad shoulders and dumping him backwards onto the mat. The impact stuns the big man, and Joe is your winner!
This ending reveals just one minor flaw in the programming of the “Recommended” app: I actually prefer videos where Face ends up tortured for much longer and endures a humiliating defeat. Oh well, at least the app consistently links me to wrestling — not to Grumpy Cat or something.
Funny I think I first saw this video also because YouTube “recommended” it to me. And the only reason I checked it out (yeah, horrible title right?) was because the choice screen capture for the video was of Bazooka Joe’s bulging red trunks and muscular broad back limp from getting the life squeezed out of it by Big John, neither of which I knew at the time. And it was definitely worth watching, especially that scene that was so perfectly captured in the preview shot!