Last Luchador Standing

Like most people, my DVR is set to record about a half dozen pro wrestling shows per week (a couple WWEs, ROH, etc.)  In the past week, only one show really tripped my trigger, really delivered the ring psychology and kinky, raunchy action to put me right over the edge.  That show was… (drum roll please)…  Lucha Underground!

I had never heard of the contestants in the Main Event — Drago and King Cuerno.   The King entered the arena in a cloud of smoke wearing a strange crown on his head.  Wait, is that…   Oh holy damn, he’s wearing a dead deer’s head, complete with antlers, with the animal’s hide draped over his shoulders like a cape!!  Oh my, things are getting very kinky very fast!

It seems that Cuerno and his opponent — Drago — have been in a bitter feud for a long time.  The commentator (Matt Striker) points out that Drago had smashed Cuerno through a table the previous week.

They decided to settle their feud in a brutal “Last Luchador Standing” match — no rules and the loser is the man who can’t get to his feet in a count of ten.

I expected King Cuerno to the be heroic Good Guy (or “technico”) — I suppose because his body was buff and he had the sexier mask.  Wearing a dragon costume, one would naturally expect Drago to be the villain.

However, I soon realized I had it backwards.  With his fancy flippy moves and gratuitous suffering, Drago would prove to be the Baby-Face.  King Cuerno on the other hand has a sadistic streak (which the commentators allude to several times).  For vicious actions that will be obvious below, he is clearly the Rudo or bad guy.

Once Cuerno gains the upper hand, the timing of the match slows down to a delicious, deliberate pace that is very enjoyable to watch.  We get to savor each of Cuerno’s brutal kicks to Drago’s head and the gorgeous aftermath: Drago as the injured prey struggling and spasming, with Cuerno — the hunter — kneeling over him in a dominant pose, patiently waiting for him to die.

Each time Drago struggles to his feet, Cuerno strikes again, kicking him in the face, or tossing him out of the ring, or ramming his head into the corner post (four times in a row.)  Then Cuerno poses over his lifeless body again.

Some of you probably think I am just jumping on the Lucha Underground bandwagon.  The show is gaining popularity among well-informed wrestling fans for its exciting action and talented in-ring performances, so it’s become trendy to get off on the L.U.

Actually I am not trying to be edgy or hip — I just know hot, erotic, mind-fucking wrestling action when I see it, and trust me, Lucha Underground delivers.

Oh I almost forgot to mention, the video of this exciting match is available on YouTube.

Seeing poor Drago limp and exhausted in the corner, Cuerno sails across the ring to dropkick him in the head.  “His head has no place to go!”  Then my man Cuerno — my new favorite Heel — finds a rope under the ring and proceeds to tie up Drago.  Ohhhh, nice!

Of course our heroic Drago can’t rise to his feet with his arms, head, and neck bound by Cuerno’s rope!   The scene evokes all sorts of kinky, homo-erotic, S&M imagery, with Cuerno yanking on the ends of the rope to tighten the pressure around Drago’s throat!

Let’s just say no other wrestling show broadcast in the past week delivered the same level of excitement as Lucha Underground.  Keep your eye on this hot young promotion from south of the border.