I thought National Pro Wrestling Day (NPWD) was always held on the first Saturday in February, but this year it’s on February 8th (tomorrow) — the second Sunday and not the same weekend as the Superbowl. Maybe NPWD is like Easter and it moves around depending on the first full moon after the Equinox. (Or maybe it’s based on when they can book the arena.)
Anyway, happy 3rd Annual NPWD tomorrow — the sexiest holiday of the year. The heart of the festivities will be a free wrestling show by Chikara at the Greater Norristown PAL Gymnasium, 340 Harding Blvd in Norristown, PA starting at 2:00 PM tomorrow.
One of the wrestlers on the card is this douchey looking sail0r in the mint green trunks and matching kneepads — “Smooth Sailing” Ashley Remington (formerly known as Dalton Castle.) He will be facing off tomorrow against one of my personal favorites — Drew Gulak.
Remington’s gimmick is that he is a kind, caring, thoughtful, polite Good Guy — the ultimate Baby-Face — and everybody loves him.
Even his opponents can’t help but love him when he holds open the ropes for them, offers them a hand when they stumble, and smiles at them so charmingly.
The Chikara audience gets in on the joke, pretending to all have hard-ons for Remington — a tongue-in-cheek nod to the blatant hero worship that was encouraged by the classic wrestling shows we watched while growing up.
In the Golden Age of pro wrestling, the Baby-Faces were presented as spectacular icons of masculinity, good manners, good grooming, and intestinal fortitude. Remington takes it up about five notches to lampoon the old trope. When he has his opponent against the ropes, he voluntarily breaks his hold On the Count of One. And when he wins a match, he presents the defeated loser with a fruit basket (!!), I suppose to cheer him up.
The match commentators join in this “We Love Ashley” game as well, discussing what an incredible Man’s Man he is, and how great his hair smells, and the appeal of his mint-green trunks. They call him “dashing and gorgeous! An all-around GREAT GUY!” You can hear what I’m talking about by checking out the video of this Chuck Taylor match. The verbal masturbation begins at about 3:40 into the video.
The commentators go over the top to poke fun at the worshipful narratives we heard during pro wrestling shows in the 1980’s and 90’s describing how handsome, fit, talented, and brave the Baby-Face wrestlers were. They exaggerate their praise for Remington to point out how absurdly homo-erotic it sounds for two (presumably straight) men to openly discuss the lovable qualities of the strapping buck in the ring.
Here is Remington acting absurdly humble and heroic in a match with Archibald Peck.
He allows his dazed opponent the opportunity to cover him, draping the man’s arm over his own chest just to show what a nice guy he is, and then kicking out on Two just to show what a perfect Baby-Face he is.
Picking up on the sexual energy (and the obvious physical appeal of Remington), the audience begins to chant “Hug it Out! Hug it OUT!” Without missing a beat, the ref sails through the air and embraces Remington tightly, wrapping up the handsome grappler with his skinny legs and arms.
Obviously this was meant as comedy, the ref outing himself as a queer, love-struck horn-dog. But it also exposes for a moment the homo-erotic underpinnings of pro wrestling. The fact that the ref would even want to hug one of the athletes reveals that yes, the wrestlers are hot, and yes, other men will take notice and crave physical contact. The ref is doing what many in the audience chanting “Hug it out!” wish they could do themselves!
Still hungry for more “homosexual stuff,” the audience begins to chant: “Referee Sandwich!” The ref now plays coy — No, no guys, don’t sandwich me… (as he strolls into position right between them.)
Sure enough, the wrestlers both embrace the gay ref, smothering him between their bodies and the three begin to bounce up and down in rhythm, I suppose to simulate three-way sex. The audience loves it and they begin to chant: “Hugs are Awesome!” How totally gay.
You can watch a 2 minute video of this little ménage à trois on YouTube.
Remington’s finishing hold is this complex and painful maneuver he calls the “Anchors Away Leglock” which fits in with his nautical theme. I dig any move where they get their legs all tied in knots.
By the way, if you want to check out images of Remington’s opponent for tomorrow — Drew Gulak — check out my NPWD article from last year.
Drew Gulak may be the only wrestler who has appeared at all three NPWD events. Maybe he is the one planning and organizing it each year?
Anyway, I don’t believe tomorrow’s event is being streamed on-line, so unless you’re in the Norristown area (or willing to travel), you may not be able to participate.
But as wrestling fans, we should all make a point to do something to support the sport this weekend in honor of NPWD: watch wrestling, talk about wrestling, purchase wrestling videos or some hot wrestler’s ring-worn gear on E-bay, you get the picture. Let’s use NPWD as an opportunity to give back to the sport that has given us so much pleasure.