Suckers For Pro Wrestling

The always-entertaining Joey Ryan appeared at a Southside Wrestling Promotions show in England on 2/28/15.  As usual, Joey used a dozen little tricks to sex up the wrestling and excite the audience.  For example, he poses with a foot on the ropes to place his bulge on display, exposes his hairy chest seductively, carries a lollipop to the ring so he can lick it, etc.

We’ve seen Joey use this lollipop gimmick before, swapping it with his opponent, sticking it in his mouth then the other man’s mouth and back again to emphasize their intimacy.  Joey’s opponent tonight is a smooth Brit Pro veteran named Martin Kirby.

Both Ryan and Kirby play with masculinity and femininity in their appearances. The bearded Joey is decidedly manly with that thick, hirsute torso, but wears flamboyant flowery trunks.  Kirby is confident and macho with his smooth pate, but prefers emasculating pink trunks with the image of the video game Kirby (an especially cute, non-threatening character) near his crotch.

My goodness: Joey in those thin, silky little ass-gripping trunks, styled after a Hawaiian t-shirt…

Anyway, the men lock up and Ryan establishes himself as the dominant Alpha Male, out-muscling Kirby while looking spectacular and powerful.  The audience is soon eating out of Ryan’s hand — which is a sure sign that Our Hero will soon face a humiliating loss of control and be taken down a few pegs…

Kirby disappears backstage (I’m not really sure how the costume change played out) and emerges wearing a Joey Ryan shirt and licking on a lollipop of his own.  On one level, Kirby is making a fool of Joey Ryan, mocking him for his arrogance and the way he’s always sticking suckers in his mouth.

But on another level (the sexually suggestive, homo-erotic level that pro wrestling thrives on), Kirby is presented as an admirer of the great Joey Ryan.  After all, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.  Would you dress up like another man, wear a likeness of his face on your chest, if you truly despised him?  And where did Kirby find this unique t-shirt?  Does he often order Joey Ryan shirts as if he worships the other man?  Or perhaps he dug through Joey’s gym bag and stole one of the other man’s shirts.  If so, is he going to keep the other man’s shirt to savor the scent and memory of Ryan?

The whole scenario of one man dressing up like another — and right in front of the other guy — has a queer hero-worship vibe, as if he wants to be like, or to be with the other man.  It is left ambiguous whether Kirby wants to make fun of, or make out with, Joey Ryan.

Damn — Joey in those trunks, man.  Jeeezis.

Anyway, once inside the ring, Kirby begins to play around with his sucker, even sliding it down the back of his pants (which is highly suggestive when you think of the sucker as a phallic symbol.)

Then he tries to get kinky, threatening to jam that disgusting lolly in Joey’s mouth — to turn Joey into a candy sucker.  But Joey asserts his masculinity by refusing to open up and accept Kirby’s candy in his mouth.

Sure enough, Joey proves to be the dominant male and Kirby gets hoisted on his own phallic petard — forced to accept his disgusting, dirty sucker in his own mouth.  He doesn’t spit it out either, acting as if the candy is somehow stuck on his tongue.

This transgressive act, this implication of Ass-to-Mouth play, cannot be tolerated in the ostensibly straight world of pro wrestling, so Kirby then punishes Ryan for raising the specter of homo-eroticism.

A dick kick neutralizes Joey Ryan’s masculinity and leaves him busted and impotent down on the mat.  Kirby proves to be the dominant male in the end (he is on his home turf in front of his audience after all).

While pinning his ball-busted victim, Kirby pulls on the waistband of his trunks to expose some ass, and where did that lollipop disappear to?  A sexual violation is implied, which further highlights Kirby’s dominant position and Ryan’s utter emasculation.