…And STAY Out!

I haven’t created a “Match Mash-Up” in a while — my term for an edited wrestling video focusing on the hottest moments of the bout.  So here is a mash-up I recently uploaded to  YouTube featuring two of the best bodies from the 1980’s.

Here Steamboat and Snuka get it on in Japan with Steamboat showing off his fine ass in these bright teal-colored trunks.  Did Steamboat realize what a naughty, ranchy image he was presenting as his trunks scootch up his crack while he thrusts his muscular body repeatedly into the Armlock?  Steamboat was such a dirty slut, that’s why I love his matches.

And Snuka was a BEAST!  WOW!  Check him out, flexing those big pec muscles in anticipation of his lock-up with Steamboat.  Is he pumping that massive chest to intimidate Steamboat, or to turn on the drooling muscle-worshippers in the audience?

What a gorgeous Scissor applied by Dreamboat — I mean, Steamboat!  Those beautiful shiny boots and clenched glutes really create a stunning image.  Even the creepy ref can’t resist reaching in there to cop a feel on Steamboat’s taut, flexing hamstring muscles.

As you can see, the opening minutes of the match were all about Steamboat Shine, featuring him in control of his massive, wild-haired opponent thanks to his capable wrestling holds and that relentlessly clenching ass, which is utterly devouring his stretchy spandex.

We get the sense that Steamboat’s dominance is the calm before the storm, and that each time he twists Snuka’s arm, he is just banking away one more low blow or punishing slam to be deducted later.  The sadistic fans in the audience grow eager to see the match turn, and for Steamboat to convert from the Hard-Ass Arm Twister to the Moaning and Groaning Jobbitch.

The match finally turns when Snuka bum-rushes Steamboat out of the ring with a handful of waist-band.  Poor Ricky tries to get back inside the ropes (repeatedly), only to be chopped, kicked, kneed, or punched back down to the floor each time.

Snuka is working the old “Ring Refusal” gimmick.  This is my term for the scenario where the Heel takes ownership of the ring and blocks the Baby-Face from being able to get back inside the ropes.  Each time the poor chump drags his tired ass back up on the apron, he gets brutally floored once again for his trouble.

Snuka really milks everything he can out of the gimmick, with Steamboat knocked off the apron over and over again.  The handsome dim-wit just keeps coming back for more, peeling himself up off the floor to slowly claw his way up like he’s scaling a mountain, and then BAM! He’s knocked down again!

Snuka is enjoying a game of Whack-A-Mole with Steamboat, busting him each time he pokes his eager face through the ropes.  Usually this will happen twice, maybe three times in a match, then the cheater will relent and allow his ragdolled victim to roll back in the Squared Circle where he belongs.  But Snuka prolongs this delightful scenario for an outrageous length of time, shoving the dazed Ricky Steamboat off the cliff so often (or joining him on the floor to fuck him up outside the ring) that I actually lost count!

When I was a youngster watching pro wrestling, I can remember being frustrated by the Ring Refusal gimmick.  I wanted both men in the ring where they belonged (where they could get back to wrassling) in accordance with the rules.  I was annoyed that my hero — the Baby-Face on the Floor — was being punked so disgracefully, and growing weaker and weaker after each on-apron assault.  Couldn’t the wimpy ref restore order and force Mr. King-of-the-Mountain to back off and let my poor hero get safely back inside?!?

But then I noticed a strange feeling — whoa, what was happening to me!  I began experiencing an odd tingling sensation as I watched this maddening abuse, as if my own anger and frustration over this injustice was somehow also pleasurable.  (So THAT’S what they meant by “boner”!)   And then I was torn — I both wanted the Good Guy to be able to fight his way back inside the ropes to get his revenge, AND I wanted to see him knocked back down to that cold, dirty floor at least a dozen more times.  And thus, a pro wrestling addict was born.

Steamboat finally climbs up on the ropes only to slip and fall (with help from Snuka.)  This causes his fancy boot to become trapped between the rope strands!  Snuka uses the opportunity to torture the little fly in his spiderweb, snatching a chair and driving it into Steamboat’s belly and neck.

I know where Snuka got the idea to use the chair as a weapon on his helpless opponent.  He had been the victim of a similar Chair-Shot torture scene inflicted by Roddy Piper which I have never forgotten (and which also gave me that angry-but-tingly feeling when I witnessed it back in the ’80’s.)  You can watch the video of that Piper-Snuka chair punishment on YouTube, set to a really rockin’ Iron Maiden tune.

And if you didn’t get enough of Snuka brutalizing the ever submissive Ricky Steamboat in this mash-up, you can check out my old Snuka as a savage gallery from June 2011 where the wildman gets hungry and bloodies the pretty-boy’s face.