Sheamed

I just got done writing back on April 20th how much I am into Zack Ryder right now and want to see him suffering in the ring more often (and several of you commented in agreement with me.)  Then that very night on the 4/20/15 episode of RAW, they gave me exactly what I was craving, and they gave it to me hard:  Ryder suffering a one-sided beating administered by Sheamus!

About one second into the “match,” Sheamus delivers his jaw-shattering Brogue Kick, which leaves my poor Ryder totally ragdolled.  His humiliation is amplified by the ease and quickness with which Sheamus subdued him — one kick and the “fight” is over!

Rather than pin the man, Sheamus drags him up for more fun.

While continuing to own his victim, Sheamus runs his mouth on the microphone, verbally abusing the fans and the helpless jobber. The message he is sending is that Ryder is such a push-over, he can beat the wimp up and talk about it at the same time.

They dressed Ryder in shiny silver trunks for this torture scene, I suppose to emphasize his Baby-Face status and to keep our eyes riveted to his bulges as he is repeatedly kicked down and dragged around.

Oh Ryder, you naughty little slut, holding the dominant man’s boot while your hips and thighs are in that position.  Well played!

This new version of Sheamus is so delightfully sadistic.  Rather than pin Ryder, he wakes him with a slap & drags him up for more.

Ryder is forced to hump the top turnbuckle as Sheamus continues to bully and berate him.

I can always count on the Fuck Yeah Gay Wrestling Tumblr where I found the GIF animations you’re seeing here.  That blogger has such excellent taste in pro wrestling and seems to generate images from every match that catches my attention.

A big knee to the gut sends the rope-straddling wussy in his flamboyant silver gear outside the ropes.  Ryder holds on for dear life and shows us his crotch.

You may be getting tired of me pointing this out, but Ryder’s weakness and suffering is just top notch and beautiful, and he is so eager to play the chump.

Ever since Sheamus came back from his injury or wherever he was, he has been acting like such a vicious SOB.  His unusual red mohawk and braided beard just add to his scary Don’t-Give-A-Fuck persona.  Ryder’s job tonight is to put over Sheamus’ power and brutal unbeatability so we will worry about what this pale beast might do to hurt his enemy, the beloved Dolph Ziggler.

In case you missed this week’s Raw and forgot to record it for some dumb reason, there are many ways to view this sadistic beating and hear Sheamus’ boastful, insulting commentary.  Obviously it’s on the WWE Network, and on Wrestling-Network.net (starting 31 minutes into Part 2.)

The WWE also posted a nice 4-minute summary video on their website that shows some of the most brutal attacks and degrading insults unleashed on my poor helpless Ryder.   Oh yeah, Ryder is from Long Island and this episode of Raw was filmed in New York.  Usually the Home Town Boy is allowed to thrive on his turf to satisfy the crowd, but clearly not in Ryder’s case.  Quite the opposite: he is humiliated in front of his friends and neighbors.

Here are some of the hottest one-liners uttered by Sheamus:

“Well, THAT was easy!”  “He’s no different than all of you: none of you would last 2 seconds in the ring with me.”  “And I thought New Yorkers are supposed to be tough.”  “So much for your New York hometown hero.”  “How about one more to finish the job!”

Eventually Dolph Ziggler takes pity on Zack and rushes in to save him.  Dolph chases cruel Sheamus out of the ring and pats Zack on the back to make sure he’s okay.  This only adds to Ryder’s feelings of shame and inferiority — having to be protected by a big strong man like a damsel in distress.  I love it — give me even more Zack Attacks next week.