Russian Nightmare

I’m sure many wrestling fans feel the “Mad Russian Heel” gimmick is dated and out of style.  Some of us may remember Volkoff, the Koloffs, the Kalmikoffs and other “Offs” who wreaked havoc in the ring during the Cold War and tortured our American pretty-boys.  This was a time when young Americans were raised to hate and fear the evil Soviets.

Well, everything old is new again.  We’re now in a kerfuffle with Russia over the Ukraine and Putin has been strutting around in the woods with his shirt off (a typical arrogant Heel move.)

This Indy wrestler, Sasha Darevko, has capitalized on the recent tensions by bringing back the Sadistic Russian gimmick.

Darevko is not your daddy’s Russian Heel.  With his hairy chest and skimpy trunks, he delivers a certain sex appeal that some of the old-timey Russian Bears may have lacked.

Sadistic Sasha also likes to play with chains, wearing one around his neck as he enters the arena, and wrapping a long one around his forearm in the above publicity photo.  This adds an element of kinky “S & M” play to his persona.

In fact, for this recent match, he goaded a gullible American Baby-Face — Brandon Gatson — to agree to a “Russian Chain Match.”  This occurred at an Empire Wrestling Federation event on 9/4/15  in Covina, California.  More photos are available on Flickr if you want to see more.

What a delicious contrast between these two competitors.  Hairy Darevko in his black gear and blood-red socks.  Handsome, corn-fed Brandon, determined to avoid disappointing his fellow Americans.  Chaining them together by the wrists makes their encounter even more homo-erotic.

Notice how they have designated this match a “RUSSIAN” Chain Match — not a “Swiss” Chain Match, or “Texas” Chain Match.  The home court advantage goes to Darevko because he presumably knows all about “Russian” chains and plays with them all the time.

Indeed, Darevko’s brutality lets him take control over young Brandon who was ill prepared for this level of cruel violence.

Brandon suffers on his knees, trying to keep hope alive for his supportive fans.  He seems surprised to have somehow found himself in sadist’s wet dream.

He had better get his throat away from that middle rope before my dirty Russian sits on the back of his head and wraps a chain around that cute mug about five times.  (Come on Darevko — get over there and fuck him up!)

Truthfully, the match was not All Russia All The Time. Here we see Brandon straddle Darevko in the corner, his ballsack in his opponent’s face as he delivers some chain torture.  But Brandon soon learns that this is a vulnerable position to place oneself in, especially if one’s opponent has access to a steel chain!

These two Indy studs — Sasha and Brandon — really pull out all the stops for this match, I am impressed!  They really gave the fans their money’s worth, providing a full load of danger, creative offense, and homo-erotic sexual tension inherent in a steel chain match.  In his snug black trunks with the Hammer and Sickle on the ass, Darevko invents all sorts of cruel torture devices to entangle and entrap poor Brandon and make him suffer.

And Brandon left his pride as an American in the locker room, accepting a helpless, subservient position to his Russian oppressor.  He humbly allows Darevko to stomp, chain choke, and tie him up in the ring ropes.

His position of weakness seems further degrading when you consider he is being beaten by a Russian, on his home turf, in front of family and friends.  This would be like Putin visiting the White House, wrestling Obama on the front lawn, and forcing our leader to kiss his boot.

But like any resourceful American, Brandon has some tricks up his sleeve.  He slams Darevko’s face into the post and the blood starts to flow.

Take THAT, you heartless Russian!  Since you love the color red so much, here is some on your face!

(Note:  Not many Indy wrestlers, earning whatever share of the gate each man gets to keep, are willing to bleed for the fans’ enjoyment.)

Wow, Darevko is amazing as a Heel, don’t get me wrong.  But when he plays the Suffering Ragdoll, it’s downright breath-taking.  He strikes all sorts of sexy, submissive, bloddy-faced poses as Brandon batters him from pillar to post.  He looks great in black trunks too I must say.

I’ve blogged about Darevko before — namely in my “Cold War Continuation” article back in February where the Russian punished a different American pretty-boy — and the more I see of him, the more I dig him.

I am going to leave it here with handsome Brandon locked in the angry Russian’s deadly Camel Clutch, the brutal chain circling his jugular. Let’s just assume Brandon was unable to escape this deadly finisher and was forced to submit to his new Russian over-lord.

(That is perhaps NOT how the match truly ended — it may just be my fantasy outcome.  You can view the Flickr gallery if you really must know who actually won, but sometimes the fantasy is more satisfying than the truth.)