I was browsing social media and I found this series of imitation magazine covers that some artist had created which mimic the traditional wrestling magazines that kept me mesmerized and horny, loitering at the drugstore magazine racks back in the 1980’s.
The artist clearly understands and portrays the pornographic nature of the old wrestling mag covers — he just plays up the sexiness with slightly more provocative clothing. Al Perez, for example, is in a bikini, which is only a little more revealing than his usual trunks. Rick Rude is oiled up and showing off in a speedo, but I think that may be an actual photo of him — no photo-shopping necessary.
Here the artist references the savage brutality and bloody faces that were often pictured on the old covers to rile up the viewers and entice the kinkier wrestling fans to make the purchase. Magnum TA is seen raging, jabbing his phallic spike into Abdullah’s forehead. This photo is actually tame compared to the carnage and slaughter found on the covers of actual wrestling mags.
This time Magnum is photo-shopped into a shiny, bulgey brief, but that’s pretty much what he really wore in the ring on television each week. The artist just amps up the sex appeal from the usual soft-core porn that was featured on these covers.
As I’ve described on this blog several times, the old magazines also used sexually charged words and phrases to turn on their subscribers. This artist plays off that provocative word-play with similar language, using terms like “HUNKS,” “BARE-CHESTED,” and “beefcake.”
You’re probably thinking that the old wrestling magazines were not quite THIS explicit or homo-suggestive in their titles and captions, but I’ll bet if you dig deep enough in that old box of beat-off magazines you have stashed in the back of your closet, you will probably find every word and phrase from these fake covers in the pages of a real wrestling rag.
The old magazines would often “quote” the supposed trash-talk between two feuding wrestlers to subtly sexualize the heat and passion found in their mutual love/hate. For example, saying one wrestler will “wipe the floor” with another, or will “snuff you like a bug.” I’ve seen taunts even racier and more sexually suggestive than this in the actual magazines.
Their provocative boasts were usually double entendres meant to either belittle or proposition the opponent, such as “I want you,” or “I’ll meet you any time, any place,” or “Your ass is mine when we get to Memphis.”
The artist who created these fantastic spoof covers runs a Tumblr called “Bluto’s He-Man Club.” About 9o percent of his artwork featured on that blog involves Popeye and Bluto in homo-erotic cartoon drawings that riff on the sexual tension that permeated their abusive relationship. I included just one of his many Blut0-Popeye images because it happens inside a wrestling ring. I’m not really into the Bluto-Loves/Hates-Popeye thing, unless it’s in a wrestling ring, then I’m all in. Anyway, great job on these wrestling magazine covers.