He Ain’t Going No Where!

Pretty much every wrestling lover is into Brad Armstrong, especially when he suffers.  Jimmy Garvin is more of a mixed bag:  either you’re into him or you’re not.  I happen to be in the former category, as I goon over his big furry belly, revealing white trunks, and cocky flirtatious attitude.

For this NWA match from February 1987, Garvin brought his female valet, Precious.  Her presence, as she flirts with sexy Jimmy and taunts Brad to emasculate him, adds to our sense that Jimmy is a sexually dominant master.

Cheat all you want: it's Brad Armstrong!

Let’s fast forward to Brad’s suffering and punishment.  Jimmy takes control of Brad with plenty of sexually suggestive tactics.  Here Garvin reaches flirtatiously between Brad’s thighs to cup his nuts, then drops his throat across the top rope.r   Jimmy poses repeatedly to show us the big bulge tenting out his white trunks.  Brad’s ass, meanwhile, is put on display in his tight red speedo.

My favorite moment was when Garvin clamped his thick legs around Brad’s neck for this spectacular, long-held Headscissor.  The horny Heel then alternates his focus between Brad (as he tries to crush stud between this thighs) and Precious (blatantly flirting with her: Look what I’m doing to him honey, do you want me to hurt him for you?)  You just knew Garvin was getting a boner over his domination.  The whole scene seemed bi-sexual, as if Jimmy invited Brad into their bedroom for a three-way and spent more time interacting with Brad than either man spent with Precious.

Jimmy yells to the audience: “He ain’t goin’ NO WHERE!” which seems like an exciting prospect to me.  He seems to know we’re digging this punishing scissor and he promises to keep it locked on for a long, long time — I love you Jimmy Garvin!

Jimmy grinds deep and hard to really punish his bitch.

Armstrong suffers wonderfully (as usual).  Throughout the match, he alternates between clenching his fist and then opening his fingers in these pathetic poses of helplessness, like: Please, I can’t take any more! Here he seems to be grasping for something.  We almost expect him to reach down and grab hold of Garvin’s massive bulge.

After Brad is weakened and basically neutered by Garvin’s superior strength, he is tossed out of the ring like a jobber.  Garvin seems to be offering his boy toy for his lady to play with — totally unworried that Brad may upstage him.

Precious humiliates Brad by laughing in his face and then flirtatiously inviting him to come after her.  Happy with her big beefy man, why would she settle for a boy?

Brad is made to look like a complete sissy.

Brad is punished just for looking in the direction of Garvin’s woman.  The Alpha Male rushes over to slam a shiny white boot into the pretty-boy’s jaw.  The message is clear:  Garvin is the big swinging Alpha Male dick and any hint of sexual attraction exhibited by Brad will be quickly nipped in the bud.

Brad then leans over the railing, presenting his bright red speedo submissively toward Garvin.  Our take-away is that Garvin’s libido is so powerful, both men and women will offer themselves to him.

Stay down, bitch! Only Real Men are allowed inside my ring.

When Brad struggles to re-enter the ring, he is booted in the face again and made to look like a complete jobber.  He flops to the floor like a deflated balloon, all the power and strength drained from his muscles.

Garvin, meanwhile, seems like the King of the Mountain, controlling the ring and dictating who may enter and who deserves another fuckin’ boot to the skull.  Maybe it’s his pure white gear, but damn I’m digging Jimmy Garvin right now!

Jimmy and Brad also played around with some role reversal, with Brad periodically assuming the dominant role.  Here, for example, Jimmy cowers in the corner while Brad lords over him looking studly.

That’s nice of Jimmy (and kind of hot) to act submissive once in a while to give Brad his chance to shine.  But I believe both men are well aware that Brad’s suffering, enacted in front of Precious and the entire audience, that we really tuned in for.

Brad is pounding away.

Looking fit and swole in his little red briefs, Brad continues to dominate. He traps Jimmy in the corner to pound away on him.  I like the open, welcoming positions of Jimmy’s arms, one grasping the rope as if it’s tied there, the other loosely grasping the back of Brad’s leg.

In an earlier article, I referred to this suggestive scenario as “cocked in the corner” because one can’t help but think about the positioning of the dominant man’s junk relative to the submissive man’s face.  The implication is that Brad holds the masculine power and Jimmy is now in the effeminate, submissive role.

Git da fuggoudda here!

But when Jimmy grows tired of Brad and his rough pounding, he simply tosses the jobber off, right out to the floor (again).  Brad falls awkwardly to the hard wooden floor, and rolls his sweet little body around so we know he’s seriously hurt.

Jimmy is disqualified for throwing his opponent over the ropes and Our Hero is declared the winner.  But who really won this fight?  Who proved to be the rougher, tougher stud, and who proved to be the floored ragdoll in the end?  Who got to take home Precious and continue wrestling backstage with her?