Getting Tacky

Yesterday, Joey Ryan posted this short little 30-second video to his YouTube channel.  The self-explanatory title of the video pretty much sums up what happens:

“The Young Bucks Shove Thumbtacks Down Joey Ryan’s Trunks and Superkick Party His Penis”

If you’ve been following Joey’s career lately, you’ll know that he’s been asserting his masculinity by flipping guys — even long chains of guys — with the power of his penis.

Seeing these thugs fill his trunks with sharp metal tacks gives the impression they’re going to take his powerful cock down a peg or two.

Oh no, what are these evil Heels going to do next???

When wrestling personality Jim Cornette saw Joey’s infamous “Dick Spot,” he recorded a 9+ minute interview ranting and raving about how these talentless ass clowns and their comedy spots are ruining the realism and pissing on the traditions of our great sport.  His interview is kind of hot because he says “dick” about 25 times, but one gets the sense that Cornette and other traditionalists want to see Joey punished for his tomfoolery.  The Young Bucks mean to do just that.

The Buck's boots drive the tacks home.

Cornette is outraged by the comedic aspects of the Dick Spot, the absurdity of a man tossing another man aside just by flexing his groinal region, and the laughter of the fans who will be less likely to buy into the realism of the sport again, which may hurt ticket sales.

What Cornette perhaps overlooked is that these scenes are both funny and sexy — and a certain segment of wrestling fans are not just laughing at this, but also getting into it.  And these particular wrestling lovers have resources too, and are willing to support wrestlers like Joey who know how to put on a good (i.e., arousing, homo-suggestive) performance.

In the end, Joey gets his comeuppance as any arrogant, cocksure, sleazy bastard in pro wrestling ultimately must.  The presumably straight Real Men triumph, stripping the hyper-sexual show-off of his masculinity and sexual power.  They use a very realistic form of punishment (stiff kicks to a pouch full of sharp tacks) that perhaps Cornette will appreciate to take down the former Big Swinging Dick and to teach him to stop with the sexual antics.  But Joey will never stop as long as fans like us are digging his queer, sexually suggestive performances, and that is why I love pro wrestling .