Roses By Any Other Names…

I have always enjoyed the Australian Tag Team known as “The Mighty Don’t Kneel” or TMDK.  As proof of my obsession, go check out the articles I wrote about two of their hot performances in Japan (as losers: part 1 and 2; as winners: part 1 and 2).

I loved their work in Japan but my greedy heart always lamented not having this hot team in action right here in the U.S. of A., where I can see them suffer more often and hear descriptions of their agony spoken in English.   To my utter delight, these two hot Aussies have now joined the development roster at NXT — available by subscription on WWE network.

Their opponents are two exciting talents from the American indy wrestling scene — Johnny Gargano (aka “Johnny Wrestling” — I dig that nickname) and Tomasso Ciampa.  Whoa — NXT has me swooning here — what incredible talent!!  I love all four of them.)

As often occurs when well-known veterans join the Big League, TMDK has been re-branded.  They are now called “TM-61” (??).  Also, Shane Haste is now called Shane THORNE, and Mikey Nichols is now NICK MILLER.  That’s fine — you could name them Poindexter and Mortimer and I bet I’d still get off on their in-ring performances.

Shane proves he’s not just another pretty face.

Shane shows off for the fans so they know he’s the Real Deal, for example escaping Johnny’s wristlock with some sweet kipping and flipping.

But where Shane really shines is when he’s playing Face-in-Peril, which was all the time in Japan.  Oh the cruel punishments those heartless Asian brutes used to unleash on him — it was beautiful to behold!  So at this point in the match, I am just hoping they haven’t spoiled Shane’s greatness already by not permitting him to suffer for us.

Soon my wish is granted and Johnny Wrestling begins to dominate and then bully poor Shane.  Then vicious Tomasso tags in and stuns the stud with these rough Elbow Smashes which are just too mean and nasty, leaving my boy Shane out on his feet.

I’m not sure why the name “TM-61” was chosen for this team in place of the much sexier
“TMDK.”  I believe TM-61 may reference some Pokemon offensive move or something — lame.  These guys need a much hotter name for their team — something sexy and provocative that references their Australian heritage.  Here are a few I came up with, which are at least better than “TM-61”:

• The Dingo Dawgs
• Plunder From Down Under (perhaps dressing them like Vegas strippers)
• The Aussie Bums (I suspect you can guess how to dress them)
• The Sydney Saints

(Memo to NXT promoters:  Feel free to use any of the above suggestions and rename this team — but if you do, I call dibs on their black “TM-61” trunks.  I will take either or both pairs.)

Let me say a few words about Nick Miller — formerly Mikey Nichols.  As the rescuer waiting outside the ropes for most of the match, we don’t get to see much of him, but I sure like what I do see.

He carries himself with a tough, no-nonsense vibe (which I find intoxicating).  I like how he leans on the ropes.  I like his well proportioned physique and rugged good looks.  I have a theory that all guys from Australia are attractive, and this Tag Team is doing nothing to dispel that notion.

Look out Shane! Duck!

Meanwhile, back inside the ring, here is what happens to poor Shane Thorne.  After being beaten into exhausted limpness, he struggles to his knees, his arms floppy and useless.

Then those two dicks — Ciampa and Gargano — target him with these mirror image kicks (or knees?) to his noggin.  Fuck that is brutal and sooo hot!  They impact his temples at the same moment, crushing his skull like an egg between bowling balls.

That Two-on-One Crusher was so brutally arousing, they provided another angle in the replay.  Now we can see the Sitting Duck’s face, dazed and helpless as he waits submissively on his knees.

CRACK!  Here come the merciless attackers, knocking the pretty Australian lad out cold with their vicious boots.

The Aussie Bums lose the match but I’m OK with that outcome.  Let them pay their dues and suffer a ton before they start winning and moving up the ranks.  I suppose our take-away is that American wrestlers are super tough and skillful — even those in development at NXT.  So if you want to come to our country and join pro wrestling, you better be ready to take a stiff beating.  GRRRR!  

Gargano and Ciampa stand respectfully before the Sydney Saints and nod in appreciation, letting us know that these Australian studs are awesome even if they did just lose the match.  They sure won’t be humbled by this loss.  After all, the mighty don’t kneel.