7 Habits of Highly Effective Jobbers — Part 1

There have been many entertaining jobbers of all sizes and shapes climbing into the ring and selling us their pain over the years, from pretty-boys to goons, from He-Men to brawny lads to twinks, from cowboys to strippers to bikers to immigrants.

But what are the qualities that set the best ones apart, causing their matches to stick in your memory for years to come?  What actions or behaviors make them highly effective at their craft?

Here is a look at the 7 traits (3 today and 4 in the next blog) that define the greatest and most compelling jobbers from the run-of-the-mill ham-and-eggers.

1.  Be Persistent

They say cats have nine lives, but jobbers need to have at least 900.  The best jobbers are like a Timex — they take a licking and keep on ticking.

After each humiliating and painful loss, dust yourself off and walk that aisle again the next week.  Wrestling fans love a chump who never knows when to quit.

And when you’re thrown from the ring (which will probably happen often) and you want to chuck it and go back to the locker room, crawl back through the ropes for more abuse any way, like a whipped puppy being called by its master and crawling slowly over to him.

Be eager to a fault. If he lays you down for an early, half-hearted pin — kick out!  Fans love to see jobbers with a Never-Say-Die attitude.  Also, we realize you’re in a lot of pain, but you must never submit too early before the opponent slaps on his official Finisher.  We need time to savor the suffering, so patiently absorb all types of  agonizing holds until he’s ready to finish you off the proper way.  Most wrestling fans would agree: the best jobber is a foolishly relentless jobber.

2. Begin With Your Defeat in Mind

OK, everyone knows the scrub is going to lose — that’s a given.  But a good jobber must take every opportunity, especially at the beginning of the match, to tell us a story that explains the end of the match.  The fans need a compelling reason behind why the bad guy wants to hurt you, why he needs to cheat to get the upper hand, why he wants you to suffer.  It is the jobber’s responsibility to provide that narrative from the opening bell.

So gain the upper hand for a while at the start of the match.  Smile and savor your early advantage.  Then we will surmise that he needs to smack you down for your arrogance and humble you.  Put him in a headscissor and refuse to let go, inspiring the opponent’s rage.

Or use the opponent’s own signature hold against him, applying a patented move on the man who invented it.  That audacity will justify whatever pain he dishes out later.

A wrestling match is like a puzzle and the jobber must supply at least the corner and edge pieces with his antics.

The fans will love you and enjoy your matches if you give them a logical reason behind why the villain is motivated to work up a sweat trying to destroy you (other than he’s just plain mean.)

3. Put Your Opponent First

Remember, it’s all about the other guy, so be obedient during the match — do what he tells you.  If he wants to spit on you, or sit on your face, or pull you around by the hair, you must permit it.  It may be feel humiliating for you, but we’re sure loving it (which is the most important thing.)

It’s his prerogative to make you look like a clown.  If you’re not willing to go there, then you’re in the wrong business (or at least the wrong role.)  The winner’s role is to look tough and powerful.  The jobber’s role is to always help him look tough and powerful.

Maybe he needs you to lay still for a while so he can jump down on you.  Be compliant and let him crush you.  Maybe he didn’t connect fully with his kick or punch.  You ought to fall down anyway and grip your mouth like he just knocked out your tooth.

The Rock used to say: “Know your role and shut your mouth!“.  He also would say: “It doesn’t matter what your name is!”  This wasn’t just idle trash talk.  He was schooling the jobbers on how to be successful by being compliant and unselfish — how to put their opponents first.

(To be continued…)