Chick Fight

I’ve always thought muscle jobber Chick Donovan resembles Ric Flair.  They both have gorgeous hairstyles, thick builds, and a cocky attitude.

So I found it compelling to see these look-alikes face off in a recent YouTube video — a 1985 episode of Georgia Wrestling.

The twins share an intimate moment in the corner.

There is something arousing about the Evil Twin scenario — the situation where the hero must overcome and defeat his duplicate.  Comic books have often played off the homo-erotic implications of these clone wars, for example presenting Superman battling imposter Superman, or Spider-Man against robot Spider-Man.

Here Flair must wrestle Wanna-Be Flair.  Chick Donovan, the imposter, actually has the superior physique (damn he’s Swole!), which begs the question: Why is Ric the 36-time World Champion, while Chick is always a down-trodden jobber chump?  Why is one twin an Alpha and the other a Beta?

Chick demonstrates that HE has the bigger harder biceps.

When Chick seizes control over the Nature Boy with this intense, visually appealing Headlock, I’m swooning over his power.  He flexes and grinds and clenches a fist while Flair flops his arm around in submissive weakness.   They keep this torture scene going a good long time, with Ric allowing Chick to own his neck.

I dig Ric Flair because he couples his arrogant bad-ass persona with pure helpless sissyness in the ring — an intoxicating shift in Male Power.  He talks so tough pre-match, then lets all his opponents just dominate him.  Below are a couple examples from other matches:

Another appealing aspect of this match is the flamboyant and effeminate vanity of the competitors.  They both have flowing golden coifs, prettier than any female’s hair.  One of these men is even named “Chick” — aka “Girl.”   They both wore outrageous costumes to the ring that would make Lady Gaga jealous  — Flair in one of his beautiful sequined robes and Chick in shiny gold pants that he peels off pre-match.

It’s as if these two drag queens are competing to win the favor of the audience.  Both want to be the prettiest, to attract the most gazes, which adds a sexual tone to their prancing and posing.

Get your head between my thighs — NOW!

To further emphasize their sameness, they wore identical black trunks.  They also wrestle in a similar unrushed, take-your-time style, transitioning gently and naturally from hold to hold.

And they both enact some of the exact same holds, like these matching Headscissors, both reclining on one elbow.  All of this mimicry further highlights that they’re basically exact clones.  Flair is wrestling himself.

Wait — did Ric just flip Chick, or vice versa??

We see the Champ struggle against his identical (but more muscular) twin which always seems unfair and arousing when the Evil Twin gains the advantage.

For example, I can recall feeling intense excitement when the Six Million Dollar Man met and was out-performed by the Seven Million Dollar Man.  I imagined all sorts of humiliating Tests of Strength for Steve Austin to lose to his superior version.  That’s hot.

I think his long hair makes these Elbow Drops so appealing.

When two opponents look very similar and are dressed nearly alike, any small differences between them seems more significant — a potential indicator of which man is dominant and will win the fight.

Flair has blonder hair, but Chick has bigger muscles.  Flair had the sweeter robe, but Chick has the cooler boots.  Flair uses these dramatic Elbow Drops, but Chick’s Wrenching Headlock was just awesome.

Oh yeah — Flair has the Figure 4 Leglock.  Game over.  This is the Grand-Daddy of all leglocks, Flair’s unbeatable weapon.  THIS is what separates Champ from jobber and establishes Flair as the true Alpha Male.  Whenever he slaps on the Figure 4 Leglock, he just owns the bitch, and Chick Donovan will be no different.  WHOOO!

(One wonders why Chick Donovan doesn’t just learn to implement the Figure 4 himself and then he would be more powerful than Flair.  But Chick is not permitted to use this awesome move because Chick was simply not born to be an Alpha stud and hold power like Flair.)

Flair bumps and grinds to maximize the pressure.

Hell yeah Nature Boy — whip that long hair around and really get rough.  Flair is the Man!

Grind the hell out of this Chick and make her scream.  This knee agony will teach the imposter to steal your look and try to become The Man.  If you wanna BE The Man, you gotta BEAT The Man!  WHOOOOO!