The right trunks can make the wrestling match.
Another great upload recently posted to the Richard Land YouTube Channel was this Boston Garden show from February 1986. The opening bout features flamboyant Leapin’ Lanny Poffo playing the spectacular sissy against hyper-masculine Paul Christy dressed in all black.
The draw for me was these sparkly white trunks on Lanny Poffo, which he showcases by constantly displaying himself for our viewing pleasure while grinding away in his wrasslin’ holds. Poffo always presented an effeminate persona, an alternative form of manhood, with his long hair, love for poetry, and really queer costumes, which made his moments of dominance over Real Men that much more compelling.
I wrote about Paul Christy getting beaten down by Paul Orndorf a couple weeks ago in my article Wonderful Devastation. I’m glad to see him in action again, this time against a very different sort of opponent in Lanny Poffo.
In contrast to Poffo, Christy personifies traditional masculinity with his thick build, no nonsense black trunks, and dark tan. This confrontation is all about the clash between a Real Man and a sissy.
The early minutes of the match involve a ton of back-and-forth Arm Locks which gives Poffo time to hypnotize us with his glistening (and bulging) white speedo. The cameraman plays along, keeping the focus on Poffo’s crotch area.
Whoa — WHY was I not obsessed with Paul Christy back then??
Christy establishes his masculine advantage over Leapin’ Lanny by tossing the pretty-boy out of the ring, always a humiliating event. Alone in the ring, the King of the Mountain demonstrates his power by flexing his pectoral muscles for the audience. What a flirt!
Poffo meanwhile lies humiliated out on the floor, emasculated by being ejected from the ring, denied entry to the venue where only Real Men belong. If wrestling is a metaphor for sex, then Poffo has been symbolically rejected by Christy. The Alpha Male is not interested in physical contact with Poffo so he throws the wimp out like a spurned lover — preferring to stand alone rather than continuing his physical relationship with the weaker Beta Male.
If at first you don’t succeed…
Poffo is further emasculated by being repeatedly kicked back down to the floor. They really milk this demonstration of powerlessness and rejection, with Poffo eagerly scaling the ropes over and over, trying desperately to get back with Christy only to meet another rejection — another dirty boot to the face that drops him back to the floor like a piece of garbage.
The commentators point out that this match is happening in the Boston Garden — a hockey venue with only a thin piece of plywood covering the ice. Therefore Poffo is in a cold place, his bare flesh exposed to the harsh frozen surface under that splintery plywood. Poor little Poffo!
It pays to be graceful and dexterous.
Eventually Poffo fights his way back into the ring and assumes the dominant role, taking the power away from the more masculine Paul Christy. What humiliation and public shame Christy must be feeling from being subjugated by the girly-man.
We witness the superiority of high-flying moves over raw brawn and brutality — the ballet dancer kicking the power-lifter’s ass. Check out that gorgeous Drop-Kick delivered by the angelic Poffo.
Christy now regrets agreeing to the stakes that Poffo had proposed.
Flipping off the ropes like a killer swan, Poffo crushes Christy and wins the match. Say what you will about Leapin’ Lanny and his silly poems, but he was always entertaining and pushed the boundaries by playing around with gender roles.
Poffo offered the horny young wrestling viewer a queer alternative at a time when hyper-masculinity and conservative values were in vogue, especially on mainstream television shows. Maybe we didn’t WANT to cheer for him but we couldn’t help but fall in love with him.