When we last saw my new favorite British Baby-Face — Sammy Smooth — he was having thumb-tacks pressed into his forehead by the sadistic champion, Jimmy Havoc. This torture occurred during the “I Quit!” match at the “Super Show 5” event available on the IPW: UK subscription website.
I guess even Crotch Kicks are legal in an “I Quit” match.
A swift kick to the balls emasculates Sammy and ends all hope he had of mounting any offense. His decision to wear those stretchy little budgie-smugglers, with his nuts compressed in spandex, probably made this nut-cracker even more agonizing. Being nearly naked certainly didn’t HELP matters!
Another villain then enters the fray. Joseph Conners (also wearing the ironic Santa hat) pounces on Sammy and proceeds to stomp him into oblivion. This double-teaming is permitted in an “I Quit” match! Why oh why doesn’t young Sammy have any friends willing to assist HIM?!
The Brits are so hard on their cute young wrestlers — I love it. They just torture these lads! If you’re under age 30 and pretty looking, you may want to think twice about wrestling in England!
The under-lying story of this massacre is that Sammy is being attacked for his sex appeal — for having a big bulge in his trunks and for looking so young and unblemished. Earlier we saw Havoc kick the cocky stud right in the nuts to destroy his manhood (see above). Now with Sammy’s arms held back, Havoc staple-guns his dick, symbolically sealing it shut and neutering his masculine potential. Our take-away is that a sexually attractive, virile young male will be targeted and destroyed by other jealous males who want to dominate the gene pool.
Oh yes — spank him with that big metal chair, you nasty bullies!
I like how Joseph Conners has trapped Sammy’s head through the back of the chair, pressing one foot on the back of the hero’s neck to keep him in place. It’s the sadistic scenes like this (and the skimpy gear worn by the Baby-Faces) that makes the $8 monthly fee well worth it in my opinion.
Zack Sabre Junior may be a little guy, but he is one of the meanest, scariest killers in wrestling.
Next Zack Sabre Junior enters the ring, ostensibly to rescue Sammy Smooth from saying “I Quit.” But then Sabre brutally attacks our exhausted Good Guy, violently stomping on his face and showing the audience that he is even more cruel than Havoc and Conners.
There is definitely something scary and dangerous about little “ZSJ”. He makes for a very convincing Heel — I like him (and fear him) as a Bad Guy.
He is already subdued — that Neck Wrencher is totally unnecessary!
Oh man, this is my favorite moment of the whole beat-down! ZSJ presses his ankles on both sides of Sammy’s neck and suddenly rotates his hips — a classic maneuver that is meant to appear like you’re snapping the helpless guy’s neck with your legs.
Maybe this move doesn’t really harm Sammy’s neck, but ZSJ performs it so well and Sammy’s is so vulnerable, I could just watch it over and over.
Some more dramatic stuff happens and other folks get involved — you can go subscribe to IPW : UK if you want to see all that.
In the end, poor Sammy ends up saying “I Quit!” as ZSJ stands triumphantly on his back, one foot planted on his neck like a boss. This is so hot — great job guys.
