This 1985 Tag Team match from Hawaii was recently posted to YouTube. It features the “Soul Patrol” — brothers Ricky and Rocky Johnson — against the much-hated Dirty White Boys.
The match includes all the best Tag Team hot buttons: utter destruction of the most spectacular man in the ring (Rocky Johnson wearing white briefs!), racial tension as the Dirty White Boys bend and break the rules, brother unable to rescue brother, and even some incredible post-match brutality. It’s really a gem if you get off on the violent, brutal, sleazy Old School style.
For me, one of the most compelling aspects of the match is the verbal seduction by the guys calling the match. I didn’t catch the names of the commentators, but they are superb at what they do. Without uttering one curse word, they are able to rile up the viewing audience with colorful descriptions that hit certain wrestling lovers right in the pleasure center of the brain.
“Again into the ropes, coming back — OH! Back Drop sends Rock down.”
To get us boned up, we hear them moaning over Rocky Johnson’s stellar physique and huge arms (“Oh goodness!“), then later, they use their silver tongues to paint a picture of the cruel cheating and under-handed tactics by the White Boys.
They don’t forget to mention the nasty steel-toed motorcycle boots worn by the cheaters, fluffing us up by explaining how it’s so damn unfair for the White Boys to have unsanctioned footwear! And after the final bell when the Dirty White Boys get really dirty, they get out of breath and then climax loudly.
So in honor of this verbal porn, all of the captions under the photos today and comments below are actual quotes I heard during this brutal, racially charged brawl. (If these verbal cues don’t leave you drooling like Pavlov’s dogs, you may be on the wrong website…)
“Rocky Johnson being choked on the canvas — come on ref, turn around!”
“Here’s this Double Teaming effort again.”
“TWO ELBOWS send Rocky Johnson down to the canvas. White Boy #2 is on him!”
“Rocky Johnson trying to fight his way back to his corner. He’s gotta make that tag, because he’s in trouble now.”
“I have to admit these Dirty White Boys — they know all the tricks of the trade. They know what they want to do, and they seem to be able to do it.”
“Distract the referee and take advantage of every minute he’s not looking. Always double-teaming, whenever possible.”
“It’s never a one-on-one situation — it’s always mostly a two-on-one.”
“Stamping with those motorcycle boots — they shouldn’t be allowed in the ring with those things!”
“That big, thick, steel-toed motorcycle boot!”
“One holds him while the other one works on him. It may not be exactly ethical, but they seem to break just before that five count.”
“Oh he’s taking off his boot! AWWW! Using it on Rocky Johnson!”
“A Pile-Driver coming up… ASSISTED! NO!”
“This match is over. Where’s the referee?? What’s happening here?!”
“That’s it. That’s it. The weight of two men on the Pile-Driver!”
“OH NO!!! Not AGAIN!”
“Again — TWO men!”
“Something’s gotta be done here! Get in there referee!”
“No! Now on the floor — they get to Ricky!”
“Oh NOOO! Goodness! I cannot believe this.”
“Pile Drivers on both people — one of them on the floor!”
“AGAIN?! This can’t be happening!”
“THREE Double Pile Drivers!!! No man can survive that!”
“And after the bell had been rung — the match was over!”
i LOVE the racial tension matches! Watching the dirty white boys take on the fearless black men and take em down HARD with those dirty piledrivers! So hot man! Rocky even wearing those white jobber speedos too…that’s GOTTA hurt! Awesome article!