Most of the Elimination Chamber pay-per-view on February 12th was unexciting to be honest, except for the Randy Orton match. Randy stole the show with a heated brawl against his “brother” in the Wyatt Family — the creepy Luke Harper.
This Hot Brother vs. Ugly Brother bout reminded me why I dig Randy Orton who performed all his vinatge flirtations for us. He posed arrogantly in his bulging trunks like he does, showed off his muscular physique, flicked out his tongue at us, and rolled around looking exhausted and hurt. Good times!
In truth, the match was a see-saw battle, both “brothers” Randy and Luke taking turns in the dominant role.
However, staying true to my usual perversions, this gallery will focus on my poor, handsome, shirtless Randy, squirming in agony as his sadistic, filthy older cult brother kicks him into submission.
The psychology behind their feud is that Randy recently joined The Family and soon became the favorite of cult leader, Bray Wyatt. (Just LOOK at Randy — wouldn’t he be your favorite too?!)
So the loyal (but far less gorgeous) Luke Harper is fighting to re-gain daddy Bray’s love. We can only guess what Bray does with his submissive cult members behind closed doors, but I’m guessing Harper is now left out of the fun. So Harper is determined to destroy the new favorite son to get back into Bray’s good graces.
Perhaps Harper’s most brutal-looking attacks were these massive Mule Kicks right into Randy’s chin, knocking the pretty-boy down like a ton of bricks. And as soon as Randy struggled dizzily to his feet, Harper would boot him right in the Adam’s Apple again, totally merciless. Randy sold it nicely, playing the submissive ragdoll to my delight.
With his tangled beard and soiled clothes, Harper is not the most attractive man. He probably hasn’t found many intimate relationships in the woods where he’s from.
So for Randy to replace him as Bray’s Favorite Son, robbing Harper of his only source of intimacy, is soul crushing. We understand why Harper keeps punting Randy in the skull.
Facial kicks from Harper are especially degrading for Randy given the Hill-Jack’s rural lifestyle. We can only guess what mud, grime, and animal dung are stuck to the soles.
The more Harper tries to brutally kick Randy’s head off his shoulders with those nasty leather boots, the more excited I get.
We get the sense that poor Randy didn’t realize the level of cruelty this wildman is capable of. It seems Randy was unaware of the jealousy and rage he would stir up in Harper just by inadvertently capturing daddy Bray’s eye.
I suspect that Harper will eventually re-unite with Daddy Bray (maybe at Wrestlemania??) with both wart-hogs then turning against the graceful gazelle in their midst and utterly mauling him. My sadistic side really can’t wait to witness Randy’s inevitable betrayal and punishment for daring to use his good looks to break up this Family.
But at this month’s Elimination Chamber, Randy managed to defeat Harper (in spite of my images showing Randy destroyed with this terrific Power-Bomb.) So Randy remains the Favorite Son for now, with Harper still lurking in the woods behind Randy’s house, eager to get back t0 being Bray Wyatt’s favorite toy.
15 years in WWE and Randy still looks so hot, one the best/sexiest wrestlers.