Rope Break

HeroFury0I dig Chris Hero as the fat, dominant Heel.  His long hair, thick physique, and tight stretchy trunks all remind my of the Heel Daddies who populated by fantasies growing up.  So I was pleased to find this Hero match posted recently to YouTube.

Hero’s opponent is the darling of the Paragon wrestling league — a veteran Indy star named Brian Fury (who also tends to wear tight, rather abbreviated ring attire.)

HeroFury1Oh this is gonna be good.  Let me pause a moment and catch my breath.  Both these veteran bulls know how to fight, and suffer, and hurt, and tell a story, and excite us, so the two of them together should be glorious.  OK lets get on with the punishment.

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Their foreplay involves tangling their legs in knots.

Their foreplay involves tangling their legs in knots.

Hero goes to work on Fury’s leg, their shiny black boots all entangled and inter-locked.  Our hearts go out to Brian Fury because we know that Hero likes to hurt guys, and he’s a Boss at inflicting unusual and effective offense.

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If the impact broke the ring, what did it do to Hero's spine?!

If the impact broke the ring, what did it do to Hero’s spine?!

When Fury whips Hero into the corner, we see his bulk slam into the middle turnbuckle pad.  Either the ropes are too loose, or Hero is too fat, because the middle rope releases, slingshotting Hero in the back of the knees.

I’ll bet Hero didn’t have to contend with these low budget conditions when he wrestled for The E!

HeroFury4They keep wrestling anyway, despite the broken rope.  They actually work it into the act, using the broken rope as a weapon or a comic device.

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Did Hero break the rope on purpose so he could use it as a noose?

Did Hero break the rope on purpose so he could use it as a noose?

Leave it to a pair of seasoned veterans like Hero and Fury to improvise, turning the malfunction into an epic and memorable match!

And when a stage-hand tries to re-attach the broken rope, Hero chases him away, realizing that the match is hotter and more entertaining if they must fight in a broken ring.


THIS is why I worship/fear Chris Hero.

THIS is why I worship/fear Chris Hero.

One of Hero’s most effective weapons are these giant Size 11 boots that he unleashes at sudden, random points in a match. He just whips his hair back, throws his entire body-weight into the wind-up, then POW! — his opponent drops like a ton of bricks.

Please Hero — don’t ever kick me like that!  I’ll do anything you say. HeroFury6

THIS is why we can't have anything nice in the house!

THIS is why we can’t have anything nice in the house!

As the local hero, Fury understands that his job is to excite the hometown audience by taking a beating, getting whipped into metal fences, and generally submitting his body to the Big City outsider’s punishment.

It’s an old formula, but it still gets the local fans all hot and bothered, so it still works.


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I lost count of Hero's Super Kick's to Brian's skull.

I lost count of Hero’s Super Kick’s to Brian’s skull.

Another deadly Spin Kick and Brian Fury drops like a felled tree.

Damn Hero, don’t really hurt the poor guy!  He’s kind of cute after all.


He calls that one "Death By Elbow."

He calls that one “Death By Elbow.”

This Brian Fury has been in pro wrestling for nearly 20 years — that’s why he suffers so beautifully.  In fact, I blogged about him way back in March 2009 on my original Wrestling Arsenal website.  He played a straight young rookie back then, learning the ropes by wrestling with a sexy stripper Heel in a series of visually appealing sessions.

 

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Is there any limit to Hero's cool moves?

Is there any limit to Hero’s cool moves?

These two are both well-seasoned ring veterans, so Hero is able to bust out the most unusual, interesting, dangerous moves that could kill a rookie, like this flippy Forward Neck Snapper.

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HeroFury13Eventually Hero recalls that he’s here to make the local boy, Brian Fury, look good, so he allows Fury to roll him up and defeat him.  That was very giving of you Hero — to check your ego and let him own you like that.  HeroFury14

 

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