So I was checking out the Beefcakes of Wrestling blog back on 5/18/17 like I do, and he had posted a series of attractive wrestlers posing on the ropes like he does.
One of the specimens in particular caught my attention: this bearded show-off in cherry red trunks identified in the caption as “Danny Ramóns.” Something about his look had me searching YouTube faster than you can roll an “R.” Was it his manly dark beard, his pursed lips, or that impressive trunk-bulge?
After screening many of his matches (a tough job, but some blogger’s gotta do it), I settled on a well made video from Hurricane Pro where my new favorite wrestler suffers a beating…
Danny’s punisher tonight is this solid fireplug known as Carson — the “Texas Lion.” Whoever booked this match must want to see my poor Danny suffer, throwing him in the Colosseum against a damn Lion-Man!
Like most hot-blooded Latin wrestlers, Danny incorporates erotic dancing into his moves.
Also known as “Cherry” Ramóns, Danny portrays a hyper-sexual, ever-horny, swivel-hipped Latin Lover. I suppose he is meant to be a comic figure, acting like a jerk-off when he should be fighting. But Danny is attractive and appealing, so his goofy antics also have an erotic flavor that, for certain wrestling fans, over-powers any humorous tone. His sexiness is hidden in plain sight under a thin veneer of silliness.
The Lion strikes even before the bell rings, soon subduing the “Juicy One” and tossing him out to the floor.
The audience gets it that Danny must be punished, for looking so spectacular (better than the rest of us schmoes), for wearing bright red gear like a damn slut, and for using his sexual powers to make us all hot and bothered. He earned some pain.
The Lion will focus on Danny’s vulnerable back.
The commentators bone us up by going into colorful detail about Carson’s unusual display of brutality and assertiveness tonight, the cruelty he is unleashing on the good looking dude. They share hot little observations like:
“OH wow! Slammed him into the side of the RING! That’s all STEEL right there!”
Many pro wrestling matches (including this one) are designed to create a sense of tension between wanting to cheer for the attractive champion, to see him succeed, and wanting to witness his punishment. One of my loyal readers recently e-mailed me (after I posted a rare episode of Suffering Sunday) and described his ambivalence:
“Watching the wrestlers suffer in the ring is obviously something we both enjoy. What adds to that dynamic is watching the men in the audience with ear to ear grins watching a grown man in the ring being beaten and humiliated…
“The audience high-fives the man as he enters the ring, tries to take a selfie with the wrestler, and then has absolute joy in watching the man being punished only minutes later. From admiring the wrestler and cheering him on to moments later yelling for the opponent to “kill him” or “break his leg” makes me proud and happy to be a man.”
The commentator notes that Danny is “definitely on the menu tonight.”
The Lion resorts to biting handsome Danny on the forehead, which always adds a naughty, kinky vibe to a match.
On the one hand, it is a beastly act to sink one’s teeth into somebody’s skin. On the other hand, touching one’s lips and tongue to another man’s flesh is an act of intimacy, getting to know the smell and taste him, feeling his warm body-heat on your face.
Danny plays up his utter weakness and helplessness, collapsing to the canvas, repeatedly draping his limp body on the ropes, crawling pathetically before the brute (who yanks him up again by the hair) — it’s truly a gorgeous performance and he endures a ton of abuse.
And poor Danny never seems to have the time or energy to adjust his wayward, misbehaving red trunks which simply can’t contain his “juicy” Latino booty. Carson adds to the problem by deliberately yanking up a wedgie into that deep crevice at least four or five times, really stretching that spandex to the limit.
Damn Carson — don’t destroy the poor guy! It would break my heart.
Oh I almost forgot to mention that Cherry Ramóns has the word “Juicy” written across his red ass to further capture our attention and imagination.
The word “Juicy” is normally seen printed on the back of women’s yoga pants, which emasculates our bearded macho man. Like a flirtatious woman, he is inviting the male gaze, begging us to check out his juiciness.
The following Front-Facelock scene was the climax of the match in my opinion. What are you staring at, you hungry lion?
Danny Ramóns is truly a gem — great find by the Beefcakes blog. Danny is clearly aware of why we enjoy watching pro wrestling (because it’s sexy as fuck) as he jobs his ass off in his trademark ill-fitting red speedo. He even calls his finishing move the “Juicy Injection” which is the most sexually explicit name for a wrestling move I’ve heard all year — extra credit for that.
Check out this submissive pose — the spectacular victim offering up his chest and face as a boot-rest for the thick-bodied Heel. I think I need to get right back on YouTube and find more of Ramóns in the ring. A tough job, but I’m here for you, my loyal readers.