The Birds

A match recently posted to the NWA Classics website featured Terry Taylor in action against one of the Fabulous Freebirds — Buddy Roberts.  As the cute, friendly, smiling Boy Next Door, you just knew Taylor would take a devastating beating, which is exactly what I tune in to pro wrestling to see.

Yes we all see his bulge. You can zoom out now.

Taylor plays the skilled athlete, capturing Roberts in a nice Headscissor that lasts for several satisfying minutes.  They roll around for a while as if they’re testing out creative new sex positions, with Taylor maintaining his relentless, ankles-crossed grip to show his determination and fortitude.

I see London, I see France.

Here is how the Bad Boy eventually escapes the Scissor — with a big handful of spandexed ass while stepping on Taylor’s face.

I believe they call this position the “Face Off.”

Who knew a brute like Buddy Roberts could be so graceful?

After some BDSM play in the ropes — both men finding their arms entangled while the other man has his way — the Heel gains full control.

I enjoyed this pretty Elbow Drop, with Taylor laying there helpless, allowing the big beast to sail down and crash a huge Elbow Smash to his throat.

I remember having a lukewarm crush on Terry Taylor  — especially in his smiling rookie days before they ruined his career with un-sexy gimmicks like the “Red Rooster.”  He had great hair, a nice physique, and wore classic trunks ‘n boots.  He looked fine shirtless.

But what really sold me on Taylor’s attractiveness was an episode of pro wrestling (not the episode I’m blogging about here) that I recall seeing about 40 years ago where they announced that viewers could Win a Date With Terry Taylor.  I remember feeling a bit jealous and cheated, because I knew right away they’d never pick a boy to win the date — they’d pick some stupid, shy, giggling girl. It was sooooo unfair!  (I didn’t dream this strange contest up by the way — I’ve found one on-line reference to it.)

But the fact that they even held a contest for a chance to date him, like he is a choice piece of meat, the fact that this particular cute boy was picked among all the wrestlers to be auctioned off, sold me on his sex appeal and attractiveness.

The ladies hate when Taylor’s face is assaulted.

He must be good looking and sexually appealing (as I suspected) if the female viewers were lining up to compete for a chance to date him, right?  And so pro wrestlers in general, I gradually began to grasp, must be considered sexy and appealing if females apparently watch wrestling too and want to date the wrestlers!

So is he suffering like that just to turn us all on??

The contest to win a date with Terry Taylor spurred a revelation for me at the time — I realized that pro wrestling IS more than an athletic competition that I happened to be turned on by.  It is meant to be appealing to women, so pro wrestling must be deliberately trying to lure viewers with sexy eye candy, so no wonder it got to me.  [Brain exploding sound.]

Taylor gained the upper hand so the other Freebirds began to interfere.  They decided to change this match to a Triple Tag Team, and two other rando dudes (who won’t be mentioned any further) came out to stand in Taylor’s corner and watch him suffer.

Like running into a brick wall.

So we are treated to several beautiful minutes of 3-Against-1 Freebird abuse.  If you weren’t around during the reign of the Freebirds, understand that they were sold as the meanest, most brutal, unbeatable Heel Bastards of their day!  Seeing them all unleashed on poor out-matched Terry Taylor — whom all the ladies apparently want to date — is a rare gem.

You’ve never looked better, daddy!

Check out Michael Hayes sexing up the match like he does, strutting around and grinding his hips while Taylor suffers helplessly in the background.  He taunts Taylor’s other two partners, watching in frustration from outside the ropes.  (Oh yeah, I wasn’t going to mention them, as if Taylor is in there all alone against the cruel ‘Birds.)