In this recent YouTube video, Suede Thompson has the look and feel of a stereotypical Baby-Face from the classic age of wrestling when we still had heroes and some guys were still honest and rule-abiding. He wears white trunks (SWOON!) with pink accents and pink kneepads, playing up his vulnerable, effeminate, lovable side.
Even his name — “Suede Thompson” — is Baby-Facey, the sort of name I might have dreamed up when I needed a Suffering Stud to take a beating in one of my pro wrestling fantasies.
Suede’s dominant opponent is a bearded baldie named “Cut-Throat Cody” — also a perfect name that one might conjure up for the villainous Bad Guy who inflicts the cruel punishment during a pro wrestling fantasy. Just picture this scene: “Oh no wrestling fans — Suede Thompson has been captured between Cut-Throat Cody’s powerful thighs! He can’t escape!!”
Cut-Throat Cody has the classic appearance of a Mean Ass-Kicking Heel too — bald headed, tattooed, and shirtless in tall leggings and high black boots like an Executioner would wear.
A third man involved in Suede’s suffering is a cheating SOB named “Patrick” — watching from ringside like a creepy voyeur.
This is so stereo-typical, to include a dirty villain who maybe trips our hero, distracts the ref, tosses a weapon to his fellow Bad Guy, etc. The federation that promoted this match may be called “Future” Stars of Wrestling, but the action is wonderfully Old-school and throw-backy.
Oh those cruel fuckin’ leather boots!
Just look at poor Suede, suffering in his little pink and white bikini briefs. Cut-Throat is just stomping him into the mat! As fabrics go, suede is a softer form of leather, pliable and easily damaged. This makes “Suede” a fantastic name for a beautiful and vulnerable Baby-Face like this dude.
Ohhh, hair-pulling too!?! This is getting AWESOME!
Cody snatches Suede by the hair and yanks him up for more abuse. In the background in the lower-left corner, you can see Patrick, perhaps laughing at poor Suede’s helpless situation. Why is injustice and bullying so darn exciting when acted out in a wrestling ring?
Sell it, Suede! We love it.
At 6:27 into the match, Suede gives the fans in the front row their money’s worth, sprawling all over the floor, broken, buff, and bulging. He is pure jobber eye-candy, presenting his naked torso to be devoured by the viewers’ hungry eyes. Forget the “Future” — he is already a “Star” in my eyes.
Here is an endless clip of elbows, as if he beat on Suede for hours…
Was this match predictable? Yes — totally the oldest formula in pro wrestling: Baby shines, then Heel cheats, then Baby suffers.
Does it annoy me that I knew handsome Suede would suffer at the hands of this bald-headed Meanie? Not at all — I love this stuff, I grew up being turned on by this style of pro wrestling and crave more of it.
Lets perv on his revealing white trunks for a moment.
At 9:17 into the video, Suede performs a little Punch-Drunk scene in the corner, leaning on the ropes for support as if he is 90 percent Ragdoll. Cut-Throat then makes the cut-throat gesture, running his thumb across his own throat, as he prepares to Irish Whip Suede’s ass across the ring. It’s a fun little scene depicting helplessness and dominance.
So in case anyone really cares about the official outcome of the match, let’s see… Suede applies a nice Squatting Crab, bending back the Champ’s leg.
Cody’s buddy Patrick, that cheating bastard, then pounces on the ref and beats him unconscious so the ref can’t say that Cody submitted.
Then Suede fights back, knocking Patrick out with a “Go to Sleep” and re-applies his Single-Leg Crab. A second ref then sees Cody submitting and declares Suede the winner. Yay, right?
Nobody stops Patrick from assaulting Suede.
So the first ref wakes up and declares the match a forfeit because he had been illegally attacked by Patrick. This means the Championship cannot change hands and Suede is stripped of his shiny new belt. Then Patrick destroys Suede with a series of these Falling Backwards Slams!
The two bullies beat up poor Suede, knocking him down repeatedly. Then Cut-Throat slaps on the same hold he tortured Suede with earlier, but now Suede is out cold and helpless.
This is so damn unfair and unjust, it drives me crazy. I wish more modern wrestling feds would act out these porny scenes and Old-School holds.
