Old Timey Rasslin Revival

A couple days ago, I blogged about one of the greatest Beefy Heel Tag Teams of all time: Arn & Tully.

Now I want to check out the modern version of the Beefy Daddies: the team of Revival, Dash & Dawson, who wrestled during the recent Royal Rumble kick-off pre-show.

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The Revival’s opponents were these brutish, manly, threatening Bald Bikers in black gear: Anderson & Gallows.

It’s Hyper-Masculine Alpha Males against Hyper-Masculine Alpha Males — this 2-on-2 battle is gonna be a real treat!

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Just as soon as Dash gets his shirt peeled off, Dawson goes in for their pre-match belly-to-belly embrace.  I love a good Tag Team Bro Hug, especially when the partners are hunky and similar looking.

 

Check out those orange and black trunks the Revival are wearing — almost like tiger striped animal print.

 

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Gallows & Anderson punish my boy, Dash Wilder, early in the match.

Here we see Dash slip out of the ring for a breather, his partner quick to embrace him again.  Damn, these two should get a room (and invite me along…)

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Now both of the Bikers are in the ring against Scott Dawson.  After this gorgeous Double Flip across the ring, Dawson lands hard on his wallet and exclaims “Oh My GOD!” as if he can’t believe how rough these dudes are and how bad they can hurt you.

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The Revival gain control after injuring Anderson’s knee.  The WWE website posted a colorful description of this match that is sexier than anything I could write:

“Anderson was far less lucky. The Revival mangled his left knee in the ropes and focused the entirety of their attack on his vulnerable joint…”

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“Bending the rules as far as humanly possible, Dash & Dawson teamed up on their opponent for as long as the ref would allow…”

Whoa, they’ve trapped their opponent in the Tree of Woe and now they’re just raining punches down on him!   Get him boys — mangle that knee!

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I always loved it when the classic Tag Teams like Arn & Tully would pick one body part on their helpless opponent and just TORTURE it.  That was always a pro wrestling mind-fuck that pushed all my buttons.

Here the Revival take turns working on Anderson’s knee, stirring up those old feels in me again.

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The Revival’s motto is “No Flips — Just FISTS!” which I suppose differentiates their old-school grapplin’ & brawlin’ style from the high-flying flippy-dippy offense employed by most young wrestlers now-a-days.

But I always notice that the word “FISTS” is written on their trunks in extra-large bold text, right across their asses.  Is this meant to be a subtle sexual reference, or am I reading too much into it?  Are they advertising to the adults in the crowd that they’re into handballing — that they’d be receptive to a fist in approximately the locale where the word “FISTS” is written?   Probably I am reading too much into it — I have a dirty mind where wrestling is concerned…

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The Revival get REALLY rough and brutal on Anderson’s knee, tweaking it in the ropes and eventually crippling him with a dirty Chop Block.  Hey, don’t fuck with the Revival!

This enables Dawson to roll him up and win the match!  The revealing pinning position by Scott Dawson makes me love him even more — see below…

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You may be thinking: if the Revival wrestled in the kick-off show BEFORE the Royal Rumble, then the actual Royal Rumble matches must’ve been incredibly exciting!

Um no — this was pretty much the highlight of the evening, the one boner-worthy contest.  They should’ve put the Revival in the Main Event, actually.

But wherever they appear on the card, I will always check out their matches.  I dig the cut of their jibs.

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Wow a second Victory Hug by the Revival!   The boys are just spoiling us tonight!

These Revival guys have been appearing on the WWE RAW show in recent weeks, really elevating the Tag Team quality.  I need to go check out my DVR and see if they hopefully appeared this week…