Salesman of the Year, 1986

I saw this Ted DiBiase vs. Terry Gordy grudge match posted to YouTube several months ago and I’ve been meaning to blog about it ever since.  DiBiase’s selling in this match is spectacular, I see where his son Ted Junior got it from.

I think both wrestlers were Dickhead Heels at this point, but for some reason, DiBiase plays the Lovable Baby-Face tonight.  He opens the match with these really pretty Headlocks on the big monster, something we’d expect from a Ricky Steamboat or Brad Armstrong.  The fool is only pissing Gordy off by degrading him like this — you can’t win with a Headlock!

Look at what DiBiase does here after Gordy takes control and Irish Whips his ass into the corner.  He crashes into the turnbuckles acting like his spine was shattered, arching his whole body for us.

Then Gordy delivers a stunning Clothesline and the Million Dollar Jobber just dies on the canvas.  Beautiful.

Then they play out this sexy Oriental Spike scene where Gordy works his thumb into his victim’s neck, really penetrating him deep.

DiBiase twitches on the mat for a while like he’s in an orgasm, then he lies still, letting the ref demonstrate how limp he is.  What a pathetic jobber — we find ourselves falling for him.

The Thumb Torture goes on for a nice long while, but the camera didn’t really zoom in there to provide up-close money-shots of DiBiase’s suffering, so I didn’t capture many images of it other than this animation of the Limp Arm Test.  You can go watch the video if you’re into Claw Holds — the Oriental Spike torture starts at 4:40 into the video and continues for over a minute.  It is boner-worthy even if the camera work was sub par.

DiBiase delivered some more really beautiful suffering after being tossed out of the ring.  He rolls around on the cold, dirty floor (which the camera did capture nicely).

Each time he tries to re-enter the ring, Gordy would send him back down.  This King of the Mountain routine always fired me up, filling me with both frustration and that dizzying aggressive feeling you experience when the scenario seems unfair.

As a young and excited wrestling fan, I was so easily manipulated.  I could hate DiBiase for years (because they wanted me to hate him.)

But let him spend a few minutes on his knees out on the floor, his golden hair askew, clasping his damaged throat as he gasps for air, and I’m in love.  I’m wanting to invite him to a sleepover (and maybe some wrestling practice) in our basement.

So Gordy’s buddy, Michael Hayes, distracts DiBiase, which enables the big man to deliver this sick-looking Pile Driver and our new hero is defeated.

I’m not sure why they made DiBise lose the match — nobody wanted to see fat, ugly Gordy win.  I think the Freebirds were a Big Deal at the time — the all powerful stable of Alpha Males.

But DiBiase does his job well, succumbing to the Pile-Driver and allowing the fat bastard to pin him for the victory.  We got to enjoy some stellar Selling by DiBiase, he really did a great job and made us believe he was being destroyed.  We didn’t often see Ted Senior in the Vulnerable Whipping Boy role so I enjoyed this work.