Dog Show

This video from 1986, recently posted to YouTube, reminded me how much I enjoyed watching the British Bulldogs in my younger, hornier days.

These two blokes with their intense faces, swole physiques, and matching tights were fun to watch, especially when having their arses kicked in the ring.

The Bulldogs are battling Volkov and the Iron Sheik, those evil foreign baldies.   The cruel Heels soon isolate Dynamite, the smaller, cuter Bulldog, and fucking brutalize his mid-section.

Why does this turn me on?  Maybe because it feels like the shirtless horn-dogs are ravaging their cute British victim.

Some complain that the Bulldogs did not suffer and sell enough for a Face team.  They couldn’t wait to bust out their own incredible moves.

But in this match, Dynamite sells like a muscle-jobber for a nice, long 6 minutes.  Look how he submissively allows his handsome face to be driven into the other cheater’s nasty boot.

Jealous of the British stud’s solid six-pack, Volkov continues to torture his abdomen.  I have a fetish for the old Knee-to-the-Gut as the victim bounces off the ropes, and Dynamite performs it perfectly.

Check him out, clutching his lower abs as he bawls like a baby and reaches desperately for rescue.  Oh you poor, lovable Kid!

By the way, the commentators speaking over this video refer to Dynamite Kid as “Davey Boy Smith” for half the match.  I know my Bulldogs, and this is definitely my Dynamite Kid playing the Face In Peril here!

With Dynamite flat on his back. Volkov jumps as high as he can, landing his full weight on the Kid’s mid-section to utterly crush him underfoot!  What a fucking BEAST!  The move looks devastating and deadly — I should’ve made an animation of it.  Check it out if you like your pro wrestling with lots of Abdominal Torture and body crushing.

The very best scene, a Must Watch for Bearhug lovers, was this prolonged, crushing embrace by Volkov, which Dynamite sold the hell out of.  The camera zooms in as Dynamite demonstrates his facial expression when he’s either getting off, or just pounded his thumb with a hammer.

Much of the homo-erotic tone of this match is set by the prolonged Bearhug scene — their flesh pressed intimately together, the orgasmic facial expressions.

I dig how the Sheik, watching from outside the ropes, mimics a hugging gesture with his arms as if he wants to be next.  I love it when the outside partner does that!

Eventually Dynamite tags in his partner, who dominates for a bit, but then begins to suffer himself.  Sheiky Baby slaps on this humbling Camel Clutch, which looks fantastic.  I believe the Bulldogs won in the end — I kind of lost interest after Dynamite Kid’s prolonged abuse ended.