Opposite Equals

Ric Flair looks gorgeous in his spectacular sequined robe which he peels open provocatively to reveal bare flesh, a thick gold belt, and bulging powder-blue trunks that match his beautiful kimono.  What an icon of an arrogant, privileged Heel Bastard!

In this match from 1982, recently uploaded to YouTube, Flair battles his long-time rival, Ricky Steamboat in Japan.  The image quality is superb for a video that is nearly 40 years old.

Steamboat was still wearing revealing trunks in those days, his bulge just as prominent and impressive as his opponent’s.  And what a swole physique — I can’t wait to see him flex those biceps with his tight Headlocks.

Steamboat was the anti-Flair, the polar opposite of the cocky Nature Boy:  Eastern instead of Western, dark-haired instead of blond, wearing hot red instead of cool blue, humble and hard-working instead of flirtatious and flamboyant.  This chemistry between these rivals always riled up the crowd.

As I predicted, Steamboat applies about a dozen grinding Side-Headlocks, cranking Flair’s skull and neck for the first several minutes of the match.

Flair enjoys the body contact, burying his face in Steamboat’s ample chest and slapping, groping, and grabbing the muscular rookie to feel up his arms, back, and hips.  Flair did that often, his eager, wandering hands making me want to become a pro wrestler too.

Flair fights back with some rough tactics to stun poor Steamboat.

Just as Steamboat targeted his opponent’s neck and head, so does Flair — but with percussive Elbow Smashes instead of a tight flexing embrace.

The “Dirtiest Player in the Game” slips out of the ring to bash Steamboat’s leg against the ringpost a few times — softening him up for the Figure 4 Leglock.  Steamboat sells it nicely, looking cute and pathetic as he cringes in pain.

Their roles are reversed when Steamboat slaps on Flair’s Figure 4, punishing the Champ with his own patented move.  This presents Steamboat as an equal to Flair — just as strong and talented, with full authorization to use the deadly leglock normally reserved for Flair’s legs only.

Flair testifies to Steamboat’s prowess and potency by whipping his hair around and rocking violently as if he’s in the throes of orgasm.

Flair always over-sold the Figure 4, I suppose to put over his own finisher as the most painful hold in the wrestling universe.

The visuals in this epic match are stunning, both dudes looking well-endowed and fierce.

Check out muscle-man Steamboat looking disheveled and over-heated, the strings hanging out of his trunks as a testimony to the rough violence and physicality of their encounter.  Is he teasing a possible wardrobe malfunction?

Steamboat is able to pin the Champ to the mat, again signaling his equal status.  Flair, however, prevents the pin with a foot on the ropes, which looks delicious in his baby-blue trunks.  We are led to understand that if Flair hadn’t used this cheap cowardly escape, Steamboat would’ve beaten him.

I enjoyed this moment where Steamboat tries to soar over the ring like Superman in his red speedo (minus the blue tights).   Flair pisses in his Cheerios by lifting his knees, causing Steamboat’s vulnerable mid-section to crash into those solid shin-bones.  It’s a nice surprise Fuck You to the successful Face.