Male Bonding

I recently read in an article on the Cave wrestling blog (which, by the way, I’ve now added to my Blogroll links in the right margin — not sure how I forgot that one) that Austin Tyler recently performed in his final video for Underground Championship Wrestling.

I will sure miss his talent and tenacity in the Underground scene, but I fully intend to follow his career and continue blogging about his work in the pro ring as well.  I like this guy and I tend to favor the pro wrestlers who’ve performed for fans like us.   (Don’t worry, he will still wear really fantastic trunks like this gold number that he wore in his final UCW match no matter what federation he ends up in — except maybe WWE which is weird about what they allow many of the guys wear.)

For his swan song at UCW, Austin agreed to fight Axel in a dreaded Rope Match (Axel’s idea).  This is a classic wrestling gimmick where two bitter rivals are tied together by the wrists, I suppose so neither man can escape, or so they can torture the enemy by using the rope as a weapon.

There are also obvious homo-erotic themes in a match like this including bondage, breath control, and just the fact that the men are tied together as if they’re married, as if they’re locked in coitus.

I’m trying not to gush over Axel’s amazing red trunks with his name sewn boldly across the ass because I’m afraid you’re getting tired of me rambling on about how great dudes look in pro trunks.  So let me focus on his boots instead.

While Austin (the bona fide pro wrestler) wore amateur wrestling shoes, Axel (the amateur fighter) wore these spectacular, tall black leather boots that are laced up almost to his kneepads.  Then he uses those stompers as weapons, just kicking the bejeezis out of the poor sitting duck in the shiny gold trunks.  Damn, why am I such a wrestling-gear perv?!

As usual for UCW, the action is surprisingly brutal, with plenty of cringe-inducing slams, ball-stomps that made me curl up in the fetal position, relentless rope-chokes.  Even some stiff whipping by a sadistic Austin Tyler.

I am always amazed that they can play so rough in UCW and yet nobody needs an ambulance afterwards!?

The rules of a Rope Match require the winner to drag his victim around the ring in order to tap all four corners.  So much of the time (perhaps too much time in this case) is spent yanking the opponent back at the last moment, stopping him from barely reaching that fourth turnbuckle tap at the last possible second.

Here for example Axel is able to put Austin out with this really beautiful and long-held sleeper (I had to cut the length down to make the GIF).   Will Austin be able to quickly tap all four corners before his foe awakens??  Order the video to find out, wrestling fans — it’s only like $17.

I enjoyed the symbolism of having a Rope Match serve as Austin’s farewell bout.  Axel (the face of UCW) ties himself to Austin (perhaps the greatest talent to grace their dojo to date) to keep them together.

It’s as if Axel doesn’t want Austin to leave him, to leave UCW, so he is metaphorically trying to tie him down.

And then the two rivals (who dig each other, you can tell) lock on these long, paralyzing Sleepers and Scissors, trying to hold onto each other for as long as possible.  Each man repeatedly prevents the other from tapping the corners to prolong their time together and delay their inevitable separation.  It’s a beautiful display of male bonding,  desire, and loss.

Finally, allow me to praise the phenomenal talent of  these two ring generals.  I’m sure a Rope Match is a technical challenge, yet they pull it off convincingly without strangulating themselves or getting tangled in knots.  I was impressed.  Both men proved they can succeed as very talented and impressive sports entertainers.