Package Handlers

It’s a policy here at Wrestling Arsenal to support Tag Team wrestling by the Underground producers.  When they deliver a Tag Team bout, I purchase it and write about it to encourage more of the same.

Recently UCW blessed us with match #681, a rough Tag Team battle between Max & Axel (Team Maxel?) in the red bikinis vs. Zack & Jessie in purple posers.  Great bodies on the purple team — I hope they suffer a lot!

As we might expect from the naughty juvenile delinquents at UCW, there isn’t really a Baby-Face team in this match.  Both teams are out to cheat, gaining a victory by any means necessary.

Zack, for example, corrupts young Jessie, who is new to ring rasslin, by encouraging him to yank hair and bust nuts.

Zack continues his pre-match verbal foreplay by drawing his partner’s attention to Axel’s “big red package.”

“I see that big red package he has, and it’s pissing me off!”   (What an ominous and salacious line — I’m swooning already.)

This is the third time he’s made reference to male genitalia and we’re only 30 seconds into the video — so I think we know what body-part Team Purple is going to focus their assault on….

HERE is a nice close-up of that big red package that Zack is so obsessed with.  Axel’s bulge is emphasized by some black swooshes (which also resemble thin fingers, perhaps encouraging his opponents to cop a feel.)

Jessie dutifully grabs a big handful of that inviting package, showing his partner that he paid attention during their pre-match strategy session.

For me, the match was the most exciting when the Red Team took control, working together to punish Zack Reno, who is just gorgeous and pitiful and adorable when he’s selling for us.

The primary target of their attack is Zack’s rock-hard abodomen, which they’re trying to pound into putty.

I’m a sucker for dirty Two-on-One tactics, which is why I crave Tag Team action in my wrestle-porn.

The Red Team provides some nice Double-Team fan service, including this well-executed Double Suplex on the helpless Zack Reno.

By the way, my fellow Blogger from Ringside at Skull Island also reviewed this match.  Check out his article for more great images and his usual descriptive and colorful narrative.  I certainly agree with his desire to see more Team Maxel:

“The chemistry between Max and Axel is top notch, and I hope they share a lasting partnership. ”

This half-hour bout is not limited to Two-on-One punishment inflicted on my poor Zackie (that was just my favorite part.)  Actually, each of the four competitors spends some time as the Heel-in-Peril.  Check out Zack pinning Axel in the corner, snatching the bitch by the hair as he prepares to drill him in the face.  One outcome of this match is that it sold me on Zack Reno, if I wasn’t already, as a boner-inspiring stud.

And below we see Axel suffering in a real tight Sleeper Hold locked on by Jessie that made me feel just as dizzy and weak as Axel must feel.

And lookit what Mad Max does to Jessie’s spine, slamming him down across the knee and stretching that hard body out for our viewing pleasure.  It’s a picture perfect OTK Backbreaker!

And then, like the hot Heels of pro wrestling past, MAX REPEATEDLY SCOOPS JESSIE UP FOR MORE OTK’S!!! and I find myself admiring Max Ryder and his Heel work very much.

THIS is hot to me.  THIS is why I keep begging for more Underground Tag Team action.

In conclusion, please support Tag Team wrestling (and all wrestling really), by consuming lots of it.

You should go download this video from UCWrestling.com to find out how it ends.  You can learn which wrestler’s target weak spot proved to be more vulnerable in the end: Zack’s chiseled stomach or Axel’s big red package.