To Sleep Perchance to Dream

I was browsing my YouTube recommendations and saw this thumbnail image depicting a hot Sleeper scene.  This is the sort of thumbnail that always compels me to check out the related video, which in this case is a match from the XWA independent wrestling federation from Rhode Island.

The Heel for the match is a big muscular showman named Hamlet Hurtssue (pronounced “hurts you.”)  He wears lime green tights and a flouncy blouse because his gimmick is a Shakespearean actor.

He performs scenes from his favorite plays, which delays us from seeing the sexy wrestling action we all crave — which makes us really hate this dickhead.  (However, he’s got a great body as you’ll see and I am digging his snug green leggings!)

Our Baby-Face is a smooth, well-oiled young rascal with a lean physique and winning smile named Charlie Cashew.

He is costumed like any stereo-typical Young Hero: nearly naked in a skimpy pair of trunks with nothing but a thick coating of body oil adorning his smooth torso.  Needless to say, I’m a big fan already!

We get to enjoy some tight Side Headlocks by the villain highlighting his impressive arm strength.  We also get to witness the never-say-die spirit of the heroic rookie, bridging out of that crushing hold to overcome his fate.  This match is right out of the 1980’s pro wrestling playbook and I love it.

I’m not sure why he chose the name “Cashew” for his character’s surname (assuming it’s not his real last name.)

At least this odd name allows me to make all sorts of double entendres referring to his testicles as a type of nuts.

As Hamlet kneels on his arm, the camera zooms in on Cashew’s selling.  He does a wonderful job squinting his eyes and gritting his teeth, showing us his “O face” to sexualize his agony.  That’s good selling for sure.

The battle spills out of the ring where we get some great close-ups of their hard bodies in action.  Hamlet’s female valet performs an old-school wrestling trope, blocking Cashew (who could never hit a lady) so that her cheating boyfriend can gain the advantage.

They perform a really enticing torture scene on the ring apron.  Hamlet stretches out his shirtless rookie, exposing his vulnerable belly and ribs.  Then he lays in a big beautiful Elbow Smash to the sternum.

And speaking of big beautiful Elbow Smashes, Hamlet gives the punk another one back inside the ring.  I’m starting to really dig Hamlet the Heel with his classic moves and campy old school gimmick.  Those green tights tucked into his tall black boots are also a delicious snack, but obviously Charlie Cashew is the main course.Finally the moment we’ve all been waiting for — the dramatic Sleeper Hold that was teased in the video’s thumbnail.  Hamlet really clamps it on tight, and Cashew sells his helplessness, his arms deflating and growing limp.

We see plenty of hot Sleepers like this in underground wrestle-porn videos (because the producers of those videos are well aware of how sexy and homo-erotic this appears.)  Seeing a sexy and homo-erotic performance like this in mainstream wrestling, in front of a live audience, seems subversive or salacious, making the whole scenario even more arousing.

It’s like when two attractive male actors kiss in a porn video — it’s not especially provocative because it’s expected.  But if hot dudes start hugging and kissing on prime time television or in a popular film, it is very boner-popping because of the public context.  This Sleeperhold performed by Hamlet and Cashew would be right on target at the very end of a BG East or Wrestler4Hire beat-off video, but they’re doing it right in front of a live audience.

Their match may have continued beyond this point, and Charlie Cashew may have escaped the hold.  I’m not sure because I was all finished watching the video once the Sleeper scene played out.  I’m going to stop here, as if Cashew was knocked out cold by this relentless finisher — I rather prefer that ending.