Definition of “Piledriver”

The other day, I was reviewing some old DVDs in my classic wrestle-porn collection and found myself enjoying some provocative Southwest Championship Wrestling (SCW) programs from 1984. One notable episode, which is also available on YouTube, focuses on the dynamic relationship between a mouthy, swaggering Heel — Eric Embry — and a spectacular Baby-Face named Vinnie Valentino.

At 2:15 into the episode, Embry gives an interview in which he threatens bodily harm to the beloved fan favorite: “Vinnie Valentino, right here today, right on TV, I promise you Boy, I’m gonna drop you on your head!”

Embry’s killer move at this time was the Piledriver, which he used to defeat numerous opponents, presumably breaking each of their necks with this dangerous maneuver. So the deadly threat against Vinnie’s health and safety at the start of the program sets an ominous tone — a sense that he is in peril, that we may soon see the good-looking kid dropped on his head and horribly injured.

It was this constant potential for doom, pain, and humiliation facing our brave young Heartthrobs that made pro wrestling in the 1980s so thrilling to watch. We were enticed to think about the cute pretty-boy being cruelly spiked on his head (or bull-whipped, or Figure-Foured, or Bear-hugged, or whatever) and that would do it for me…

I actually did not have access to SCW when it aired in the 1980s — I began watching videos of this promotion when tape trading was a thing about a dozen years ago. I could tell right away that the wrestling action portrayed on SCW was plenty homo-erotic and sexually charged to attract me as a viewer — so if our cable system had aired SCW in the 80’s, I would have been obsessed and tuned in each week I’m sure.

To amplify Valentino’s perilous situation, we are next shown a montage of Eric Embry Pile-Drivers at 19:15 into the episode, set to the tune of “You Dropped A Bomb On Me” by The Gap Band. The above animations show the four hellish-looking Pile-Drivers (including one off the middle rope!!) that Embry unleashes during this music montage.

I find it interesting that this particular song was chosen as the background music for these scenes of Eric Embry punishing his opponents. The song’s lyrics are a lament by a jilted lover after his girl broke his heart:

Just like Adam and Eve
Said you’d set me free
You took me to the sky, I’d never been so high

You were my pills, you were my thrills
You were my hope baby, you were my smoke

You dropped a bomb on me!

The implication of these lyrics is that the song is about Eric Embry and he is more than just a wresting opponent to the singer. He is an object of lust, an addiction, a thrill. So he is not just breaking necks when he finishes a victim — he is breaking hearts. It seems as if Vinnie Valentino is the one singing about how Embry broke him and abandoned him. Juxtaposing a forlorn lover’s song with images of two men wrestling and hurting each other carries a ton of homo-erotic baggage into the ring.

Speaking of homo-erotic subtext, Valentino appears for an interview at 20:20 into the episode to provide his reaction to Embry’s threats. He actually invites Embry to Pile Drive him during the interview — he can’t wait for it!

“Well he stood out here and he told the people that he’s gonna Pile Drive me. Right here. Well I don’t know if the people wanna see me get Pile Drived or not, but Eric Embry, I wanna tell you something and you better listen up, Boy! If you think you can Pile Drive me, I want you to do it. Right now Baby!“

Is Vinnie Valentino aware that “Piledriver” is also used to describe a sexual position? In fact, in the Urban Dictionary, the first meaning cited for “piledriver” is the wrestling move that causes spinal damage, the second meaning is the sexual position, and the third meaning is the actual device for driving posts into the dirt:

So when Valentino wonders whether people want to watch Embry Pile Drive him, I wonder which of these meanings he intends. I know which type of Pile Driver I’m in the mood to see!

At 24:00 into the episode, Valentino and Embry are at last alone together in the ring so they can begin dropping bombs on each other.

As if their verbal exchange wasn’t queer enough, Embry wears flamboyant purple tights in the ring while Valentino is barefoot in white trunks. His naked feet make the white trunks seem even more like underwear and the male-on-male grappling seem even more sexualized.

Valentino uses his high-flying abilities to dominate Embry early in the match, slowing down only to grind on a series of punishing Armbars. When Embry becomes frustrated by the stud’s superior talent, he begins to cheat, of course, to obtain dominance.

Eric Embry was such a great wrestler — such a pleasure to watch. I’m not talking about his physical beauty (although I do find him kind of sexy) or his fighting skills. I am talking about his ability to play the trashy Heel, cheating like a bitch and celebrating over every undeserved advantage while just begging us to hate him. I even like the way he says “wrassslin” like it’s a dirty word rolling out of his filthy mouth, like it has about 3 or 4 S’s in it.

In this match with Valentino, it’s a delight to watch Embry dominate the ragdoll while every cocky word and action is targeted at riling up the crowd. It is truly an A+ Heel performance.

Embry beats Valentino down until he is pliant and helpless, willing to submit to whatever form of Pile Driver Embry feels like inflicting. When he finally inverts Valentino, ass in the air in Pile-Driver position, another wrestler rushes to the rescue and averts the ultimate defeat.

The match is ended due to outside interference and Valentino lives to fight another day. Part of me really wishes we could’ve seen him Pile Driven, over and over again actually. But I get it — he is being pushed as a Baby-Face so they won’t show us his total destruction.

Afterwards, at 30:25 into the video, Embry gives a heated and passionate interview where he promises to Pile Drive Valentino (and several other males) in future episodes, which ensures we will be tuning in to witness all this Pile Driving of one sort or another.

This was a great performance of classic Heel obsession over a hated (or beloved?) Baby-Face — chock full of the sexual innuendo, visually stimulating imagery, and provocative language that made classic wrassslin feuds seem super gay and super entertaining.